Fifty Shades Through the Years
by JadeVancleave
Summary: Christian and Ana met when they were children. Feelings start developing but fate had other plans. Tragedy strikes our power couple and leads to their separation. One is lost without the other getting back was harder than ever. Will they ever be with each other or is it too late for their own happily ever after?
1. When They Met

**APov**

Gray eyes stare intensely at me. I could sense his frustration towards me, running his hand through his copper hair again. All afternoon, Christian has been throwing numbers at me since we came home from school and I simply decided my brain couldn't handle it anymore.

"Anastasia, I don't understand how algebra can be so confusing," he sighs in defeat.

"Christian, this is grade eight math. Last time I checked we-" pointing between him and I furiously " -were still in sixth grade!" I say in exasperation. I fling my pencil at him only to be easily deflected by his fast reflexes. I am not the type of person who enjoys solving equations. Words, paragraphs, stories and books are my bloody thing! But being the controlling prick that he is, he was determined to change the way I look at his favorite subject.

We glare at each other, silent rage emitting from us both. His lips were set in a straight line not bothering to hide his disappointment in me. I was the first to break eye contact as I start to pile up the sheets of paper scattered across his bed, but his hand were on my wrists before I could shove the papers in my bag. He held my hands above my head, his weight pinning me against the mattress.

"What are you doing? I never said I was done tutoring you." He flashes me one of his playful Christian Grey smiles. Since he and I were practically the same size, I easily pushed him off of me careful not to touch his chest.

"Hey, Watch it!" I couldn't help but giggle as he falls from the bed and on his ass landing with a loud thud! That's what you get for being such an ass.

"Anastasia Rose Steele! Come back here!" Great. He makes sure I do my homework, he uses my full name to scold me and he was giving me orders. Apparently, my best friend is officially my father.

"You better catch me first then," I smirk running out of his room and down the stairs. I have always been a faster runner than Christian but unfortunately, I lack stamina where he has plenty. By the time I got to the kitchen, I was red from exhaustion and Christian finally catches up looking like a freaking demi- god. I see all of his martial arts training finally paid off.

"Anastasia, stop. Running around the kitchen is dangerous," he glances around the kitchen nervously. Probably making sure I don't run into open drawers. Then, his sight settled on me. The only thing between us now was the kitchen island. My breathing was somewhat in a regular pace.

Looking for an escape, I fake right and he quickly reacts to it. Light on my feet, I bolt towards the door only to run into a pair of legs and denim.

"Oh for the love of god. How many times do I have to tell you two not to run around the kitchen? It's extremely dangerous and you two could seriously hurt yourselves." Grace scolds.

"Sorry Grace," I say apologetic. Christian takes my hand in his. He was silent as we made our way back to his room. Crap. Is he mad at me? We open the door and paper were scattered and thrown all over his bed and his floor. Better start cleaning this up. I start picking them up, but Christian was still by the door frame, frozen and silent just staring at me.

"Are you just gonna stand there or are you going to help me?" he strides across the room in quick steps. He takes my left hand and delicately runs his thumb over my scar. "Does it hurt?" Christian asks. He has yet to look at me in the eyes, just mindlessly caressing the scar I obtained on my hand years ago.

"It's been six years. Of course it doesn't hurt anymore." I know where this is going. Sigh. My poor best friend. My over protective, controlling, father- like best friend. After all these years, he still blames himself for what happened to me years ago when I met him. It's not a big deal really, but of course being the drama queen Christian is…

**6 years ago...**

"Annie, do you want to meet papa's friends?" he asks me the car stops in front of a large gate where a huge "G" was plastered. I whip my head from side to side- swishing my pigtails rapidly.

"No daddy. I don't wanna," I am close to tears but I try holding them back. Momma said crying was for brats and momma doesn't like brats.

"Momma said talking to strangers is bad," I don't want momma to get mad at me again.

"They are daddy's friends. Remember the giant doll you got for your birthday?"

"Mhm." I only play with my dolly when momma is not at home because momma keeps it away from me.

"Well, that was from papa's friends. So they're not strangers. Why don't you say thank you to them?"

"Okay, papa," I grin. Papa says they're not strangers so momma can't get mad at me. Papa lifts me in his arms as we approach the front doors to- a house? More like a castle. A really modern castle.

"Papa, are your friends princesses?" I ask him. He lets out a loud laugh and I can't help but smile back at him.

"No, sweetie. Just really wealthy." He smiles at me and it's the first time I have seen papa smile in a long time. I know momma and papa fight a lot and sometimes momma goes home in the middle of the night. I waited up for her one night and she was screaming at me. Papa came down and locked me in my room with my dolly until they stopped screaming at each other and momma apologized to me.

Papa pushes the doorbell and the door instantly opens. A girl opens it and she is as old as momma. She's wearing a white coat- like the one I wear when I play doctor in my daycare. Her face instantly lights up when she sees me.

"Ray! It's so nice to see you. Oh my goodness, is this Anastasia?"she beams.

"Yes- well, I thought it was finally time for you two to meet her. Annie- say hi to Dr. Trevelyan- Gray," he turns to look at me and I can't help but hide my face against the crook of my papa's neck.

"Come on Annie. Don't you have something to say to her?" I lift my face up and she's still smiling at me. She's friendly and always smiling- unlike momma. "Hello Dr. Twevyen Gray?" I could feel my face heat up. Her name is too hard to say.

"Hello sweet girl. Call me Grace instead, okay? Would you like to come in and meet my daughter, Mia? She's as old as you. How old are you again, sweetie?" I raise up six fingers.

"What do you say, Annie? Do you want to meet Mia? I'm sure she has a lot of pretty toys you can play with." I was already in- the moment papa said Mia had a ton of toys. I nod my head rapidly and I take Grace's hand as papa puts me down.

"Carrick is in his office. Just knock and I'll take care of Ana," Grace calls over her shoulder. Papa flashes me an encouraging smile before he turned to another hallway. Grace takes my hand and she's not screaming at me. Momma got mad at me when I tried to hold on to her hand when we were out in public. She said that I am big enough to follow her and not get lost. Papa got mad at her when we got home that day.

Grace opens a door and the room had a gigantic TV which was playing Transformers.

"Elliot Gray! How many times do I have to tell you not to sit so close to the TV? Do you want to ruin your eyes?" Grace scolds. I can't see anyone past the tall chairs. We moved to the front of the room and only then did I see a blonde boy propped on his elbows.

He saw me and quickly got up. He looked older than me and I hide behind Grace's legs. He's still staring at me and I'm starting to get frightened. "Ana dear. It's okay. This is my eldest son, Elliot. Elliot, this is Anastasia Steele."

"Anastasia Steele… oh- Uncle Ray's daughter?!" How does he know my papa? I nod and he runs over to me and hugs me. I start panicking, but thankfully Elliot lets go.

"This is so cool. Uncle Ray keeps talking about you since forever and now, we finally get to meet you. Do you want to watch Transformers with me? No wait- you're a girl. Do girls watch Transformers mom? If you don't want to we can switch it to something else. Like a disney movie or something," Elliot is talking a mile a minute and he is excited to meet me, but I don't even know why. Grace is laughing beside me and she tells Elliot to slow down and to stay with me while she looks for Mia.

Grace leaves and Elliot turns his attention back to me. "So little lady, what would you like to watch?"

"I'm not little. I'm all grown up,"I pout.

"Uh- uh little lady. I am ten years old and Ray said you were only six. So that makes me older than you and to me you are a little lady." I huff because I know it makes sense.

"Okay fine. I like Transformers, but I wanna go to the bathroom first." Elliot takes his seat and tells me to go to the kitchen bathroom.

I go out of the room and I hear someone playing the piano. I see an open door and I peek in. It was a music room. There was drum set, a cello, a guitar and a grand piano in the middle of the room. A boy that looked younger than Elliot had his back turned away from me and he was playing the piano perfectly.

I've seen old people playing in restaurants and on TV, but I've never seen someone my age play before. The boy was about to finish playing when I heard someone giggle behind me. I jump in shock and I fall on my hands and knees towards the room- shrieking as I fall.

The boy turns around and turns red with anger and I am met with the stormiest grey eyes I have ever seen. "Mia- get your friend out of here now!" he yells.

Mia? Grace's daughter? I turn around and I see a girl younger than me with long, raven black hair.

"What are you waiting for? Both of you- GET OUT!" he yells again. I get quickly get up and back up to what I thought was a door, but turned out to be a bookshelf. I accidentally slammed myself against the bookshelf causing it to rattle and tilt over. Books of different sizes came crashing down. I crouch and hold out my hands above me.

Three things happen at once- I see the gray eyed boy run to me and I feel this pain on my left hand. Mia shrieks and then… darkness.

**CPov**

What in the world is happening? A minute ago I was drowning myself in my music and the next thing I know- Books were scattered all over Mia's friend and thankfully the bookshelf didn't fall over her. Mia is screaming for mom as I stand in front of her friend.

She's not moving…

No. No. Not again. Please, don't let this happen again.

I can't breathe. I try calling out for Mia but she ran to go get Grace. I feel like the walls are closing in on me again. My body is moving on its own. I pull her off of the floor and hug her against my chest. I can't let her get cold. I need to warm her up- she can't get cold. I brush her hair away from her face. She's too pale. It's happening again. I can't. No- mommy…

I can hear footsteps getting closer. Someone help us.

"Christian? Anastasia!" I look up and see Grace along with Carrick and Uncle Ray. Anastasia Steele- Uncle Ray's daughter. He has shown me pictures of his daughter before, but I never really cared. Ray gasped as he saw his daughter's lifeless form in my arms.

"Grace- mom. Anastasia needs help. She bumped the bookshelf and books started falling on her." Grace has tears in her eyes and her gaze are glued to my chest where I was holding Anastasia against me.

"Christian, honey. You need to put Ana down so I can examine her. Set her down on the floor, honey." I hear every word Grace is saying but I can't put her down on the floor. Ray attempted to take Anastasia away from me, but I tighten my grip on her and crawled back.

"I can't Grace. I have to keep her warm. I can't let her get cold," I sob. Grace and Carrick gasps and Ray has kneeled in front of us.

"Put her down, son. She need to be checked. The paramedics are coming." I rock her back and forth in my arms. "I need to keep her safe. It's my fault she's hurt."

"It's not your fault, son," Ray tries to convince me- his hands reaching out for his daughter.

"No- I told her to get out and she got scared and hit the shelf. It's my fault. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry Ray." My arms are tired and before my arms gave out, Ray scooped her up from my arms and Grace checked on her. Grace lifts up her left hand and blood was gushing out of it.

I hear footsteps rushing down the hallway and then the room was filled with paramedics. They wrapped her hand to stop the bleeding when a glass trophy managed to fall and cut her. They placed her on a stretcher and I followed them outside as they loaded Ana into the ambulance.

"She will be okay, son. My little Annie is a strong girl." Ray pats me on the back and I stiffen at his touch. I give him a tight smile and walk back in the house with Carrick and Grace.

* * *

><p>I'm in the dark room again. Mommy is sick. I hear footsteps. He's back. I hide underneath the bed. "There you are bitch. Fuck you whore." I cover my ears. I can't listen anymore, but I can't drown him out.<p>

I hear him unbuckle his belt and then I hear mommy cry out. He's screaming at my mom. He drops on his knees and looks under the bed. He found me. He drags me out from under the bed. He smells like smoke and alcohol.

He lights up a cigarette. He pins me on the floor. He's holding the cigarette above my chest. I squirm above him, but I couldn't get him off of me. Mommy is just staring at me. I cry out for help, but she turns the other way. The man is laughing at me. I can feel the heat on my skin. He's kneeling on me. I can't breathe. He's going to burn me again.

Help…

The door bursts open, illuminating the room. It's her. Anastasia.

Anastasia looks at me and then she starts choking. "Anastasia! What's wrong?!' I panic. He was strangling her. NO! I beat on his leg, but he kicks me on my tummy. Anastasia tries to get free, but he pins her down. Run, she mouths. I watch as all the color drain from her face. Her whole body goes limp, her blue eyes lifeless.

I start screaming at the top of my lungs. My whole body starts to shake. "Christian wake up! CHRISTIAN!"

I jolt awake, breathless. I'm in my room with Grace, the person who saved me. She has a glass of water ready and a towel. She wipes my face and my shoulders, careful not to touch my chest. She's here. She won't let anyone hurt me. I'm safe. Anastasia is safe… no wait. Where's Anastasia?

"Mom… Anastasia. I need to be with Anastasia," I pant. Grace looks at me with concern. She doesn't understand. I need to see Anastasia. I need to know she's safe.

"Honey, calm down. She's at the hospital. She's okay, she is resting." she assures me, but I'm not satisfied. I need to see her.

"Take me… take me to Anastasia please…" I beg her.

"I will. Tomorrow. It's half past four and visiting hours are over. I will take you to Anastasia as soon as we're allowed to, okay?" I want to see her now, but I know I have no other choice.

"Are you sure she's okay?" she nods giving me a tired smile. She gets up from my bed and heads for the door.

"Thank you," I call before she leaves.

"You're welcome, sweetie. Sleep now. Goodnight." she walks back to me, tucks me in bed and kisses me on my forehead. I close my eyes and drift into sleep.

Grace and I drive to the hospital at eight in the morning. I survived the night without another nightmare, but the nightmare I had left me exhausted. The nightmare I had last night wasn't the same as usual. The thought of Anastasia dying made me sick, but now I feel better knowing that I was going to see her again.

We get to the hospital and I practically run to her room. I know this section of the hospital like the back of my hand since I spent a lot of time here with Grace. This was also where I met Grace and Carrick for the first time. They took me in and treated me with kindness and care even though I couldn't talk to them before Mia came along.

I don't hesitate to push the door open. I am greeted by Ray and Carla. Carla was crying and my mind went to one scenario. "Is Ana alright?" I ask Ray. He nods as he nudges me beside Anastasia's bed.

Ana was connected to and I.V. and it looks painful, but I'm glad she has more color on her face now. I take her hand in mine and watch her sleep. Moments later, Ray and Carla steps out with Grace and I am left with Ana.

She has a nasty bruise on her right cheek and her left hand is bandaged. Her tiny face is framed by her long, brown hair. I brush a strand of hair away from her face and she shifts in her bed. She scrunches up her face and her eyes flutter open.

"Gray…" she whispers.

"Anastasia."

* * *

><p><strong>Present time…<strong>

**CPov**

Grabbing her hand, I gently trace her scar. "Does it hurt?"

"It's been six years. Of course it doesn't hurt anymore," she sighs and rolls her eyes.

Six years ago, I met Anastasia and ever since that fateful day I swore to myself that I would protect her and never let anyone hurt her again- not even me.

"Christian, look at me."

"I'm sorry." I lift her hand up and kiss her scar and gazed into the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. She yanks her hand away from my grasp and shoves me back playfully.

"Help me clean your room," she giggles, blushing.

Flashing her my signature Christian Grey smile- as the people in our school call it, I start picking up the mess we made earlier and ended our tutoring session.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Review... yenno- if you want to. Should I continue or nah?**


	2. Truth or Dare

**APov**

I woke up this morning dreading this god awful day. My birthday. I hopped off of my bed and grabbed my phone. I don't even know if I should turn it on or not. Fudge it. My phone sprang to life and I groan as I read message after message of birthday greetings. I don't even know half of these people! Just a bunch of people that got my number through other people that got my number from other people that once again- I don't know. Either they're complete strangers or I may have deleted their numbers since I didn't talk to them often. The plus side of today is that it's not a school day and I can be lazy all day.

Most people spend hours planning their perfect birthday party, but not me. I was never the party type kind of girl. I prefer having a nice, quiet dinner with my parents and a few friends. Either dinner or not celebrate my birthday at all. Of course that's a tad bit impossible if you're best friends with the ultimate party planner- Mia Grey.

I groan for the tenth time since I woke up. Knowing my best friend, Mia has probably been planning some grand surprise birthday party for me. Either a party or she bought me something extremely expensive or both. It also doesn't help that my other best friend is no other than Christian Grey. Christian is known for spoiling Mia and myself. While Mia happily accepts what her brother buys her. I on the other hand happily decline but somehow, whatever Christian buys for me ends up in my room a day later.

As much as I hate birthdays, mine specifically, there was one thing I am actually excited for. My parents promised to take a day off of their work so we could spend my birthday as a family. A smile is plastered on my lips as I hear someone knock on my door.

"Happy birthday, sweetie." Ray says as he hugs me.

"Thanks dad," I say hugging him back. He pulls out a blue box from his jacket and hands it over to me. I raise my eyebrow at him. He and I agreed that spending the whole day with me on my birthday was all I wanted.

"What? Don't give me that look, Annie. I know we discussed no presents this year, but I am your father and I'm going to give my only daughter a gift. It was like a second ago you were just starting middle school and now, you're in eighth grade. You're growing up too fast. Next thing you know, boys are going to go after my little girl and ask your hand in marriage," Ray says and I can't help but laugh.

"Calm down, dad. I'm pretty sure it doesn't happen that fast." There is only one guy I am interested in and I'm sure as hell that he doesn't like me back. I know I don't have the slightest chance and he probably thinks of me as his sister more than anything.

"And shouldn't mom be the sentimental one here? By the way- where is she?"

"Honey, you're mo-"

"Stop. Nevermind. I should have known. This is no different from last year or the year before that." I say cutting him off. My voice quivers at the end and I hate this. I only asked for one thing- us celebrating my birthday as a family. Of course you can hardly call the three of us a family anymore. Carla is never home and hell- I'm closer with the Grey's housekeeper. She said she was all set and that she took a day off of work. I barely see her as it is. I hate this. Once again I come in last and my mother's work comes first.

"I'm sorry, Annie. You're mom is really busy. Get dressed so we can go to iHop and I'll drop you off at the Grey's in the afternoon."

"I thought we were spending the whole day together?" I ask in confusion.

"Change of plans."

"Change of- oh no. What did Mia do?" _I knew it. _"You agreed to this?"

"Just try to act surprised. I'm sure you'll have an amazing time. Mia promised she didn't go over the top unlike last year." He kisses me at the top of my head and leaves me to get ready.

* * *

><p><em>Deep breathes, Ana. Deep breathes… Who am I kidding? I am going to kill Mia. Not over the top my ass. <em>

Streamers. Balloons. A three layer cake. A DJ. Every single person from my school and possibly others. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANA!" They all yell in unison making my ears bleed.

I see a blurry of short raven hair in the corner of eye and then suddenly, I am engulfed in a hug by no other than Mia Grey herself. "Happy birthday, Ana. Please don't be mad," she whispers quickly.

"Mad? Why would I be mad?" I say through gritted teeth. Aware that we still have an audience, I keep a hard smile on my face. I wrap my arms around Mia probably squeezing tighter than I should be.

"Um, Ana… can't… brea… the."

"That's the point," I laugh as I release her from my grip. Someone taps me on my shoulder and I turn and see Christian smiling at me. I smile a genuine smile for the first time since I stepped into my surprise birthday party. He opens his arms for me and I gladly run towards him and into his arms. I sense him stiffen a little and that was my queue to let go but, when I attempted to get free he only hugs me tighter. He lifts my hand and kisses my scar- something Christian does as a greeting everytime he sees me.

"You know you're dead, right?"

"It was all Mia, I swear. Elliot and I didn't even know about this until we came home from martial arts today. Happy birthday Anastasia." he whispers against my hair. I lean back into his arms instead of his chest because even though he can tolerate me being this close to him, I know that he can still feel pain. Over the years, I've seen his tiny scars but I never had the heart to ask him about it. He has caught me looking at them several times. He tries to explain them but he ends up panicking and I didn't want him to force himself to share something so personal if he wasn't ready. Grace and Carrick offered to tell me Christian's story, but I declined. I've decided that Christian will tell me when he's ready.

"Hey Christian! Stop hogging the birthday girl. Little lady! Come give me a hug." I grin at Elliot and hug him too. As soon as he had his arms wrapped around me, he lifts me up and spins me as we hug. "Oh my god. Elliot put me down!" I giggle. I smack his arm playfully and go back to Christian and see that he has a frown on his face.

"What's wrong?" I ask him. Christian mutters something under his breathe while giving Elliot the death glare. He shakes his head but before I could as him what was up with him, Mia pulls Christian into the kitchen. Grace and Carrick came to greet me next. They were leaving Christian and I in charge while they were gone. There was an emergency in the hospital and in the law office and they knew better than to trust Elliot or Mia.

An endless sea of people came to greet me next. Like the text messages, I had no clue who half of these people were. I swear the half of them didn't even go to my school. I knew some of the people that I have classes with and that was pretty much it. Mia has always been the more social one while she dragged me along and as usual, I fake my smiles through the entire thing.

My irritation grows as a bunch of guys from another school keeps on hitting on me. I am going to strangle Mia. "Excuse me guys. I need to get a drink." I walk towards the soda fountain- something the Grey's conveniently has for parties. Leaving them behind, my eyes lock with Mia's and I signal her to come over.

"How's the party going birthday girl?"

"It's actually tolerable except for the guys over there that can't take a hint," I say pointing to the monkeys I left.

"Oh c'mon Ana. Getting hit on is not the worst thing in the world."

"Not if they're a bunch of idiots. Can you please distract them?"

"Okay fine. Don't you even like at least one of them?"

"Of course not. Stop trying to play cupid. You know who I like." She rolls her eyes. Only two people in this world know who I like- Me and Mia. I'm surprised the guy I like doesn't know I like him yet since Mia loves to gossip and can barely keep a secret.

"You gotta get over him, Steele."

"I know, I know. Just distract those guys while I look for Christian." I know I should probably get over him. The question is- how does one get over a person they've liked for more than a year?

"You guys fighting?"

"I don't even know. We were fine and then he was suddenly all pissy."

"He'll come around. You know how he is with you."

I search for him in the kitchen, the entertainment room, the living room but still no sign of Christian. I am back where the party is and I notice one of the guys that was hitting on me was waving at me. I pretend to not see him and turn around. I feel someone's hand on my shoulder and I am instantly pissed. Couldn't these goons take a hint? It's not like they were completely stupid.

"What." I snap as I turn around and glare at whoever touched me, but my glare instantly softens as I see it was just Christian. "I'm sorry," he whispers bowing his head.

"No- wait. I'm sorry. I thought you were one of the people that was hitting on me earlier."

"Someone was hitting on you? Who was it?" I can see anger flash in his gray eyes, his hands balling up into fists. _See? What did I tell you. Protects me like his sister. _

"It's fine now. Let's just enjoy the rest of the night. I heard Mia has some games planned." I say faking enthusiasm getting a laugh from Christian.

"I am sorry about disappearing earlier." I wave him off. "It's fine, Christian. Knowing you for seven years, I already got used to your mood swings." I giggle and poke my tongue at him as he flashes me his perfect smile and I can't help but swoon. _No- wait. Moving on- remember?_

Christian has been by my side for the rest of the night. Like me, he didn't like to mingle because of his touching issues. Since Christian was so close to me, no other guys tried to come near me. It's almost ten in the evening and the party is in full swing now. Music blasting through the speakers, cake absolutely devoured and a mountain of gifts are in the corner still wrapped. Most of the girls were enjoying gossiping in the living room while the guys made themselves comfortable in the entertainment room. Ray has already called to check up on me and I have to admit that this party wasn't so bad after all. Grace and Carrick have also called and said that they expect everyone to be home by midnight.

Christian and I were in a guest bedroom along with, Mia, Elliot and a couple of people from my class. Mia thought it would be fun to play truth or dare.

I somehow managed to get Christian to play with us which made Mia really happy. Elliot spun first and he obviously chose dare. Mia dared him to do a headstand for fifteen seconds which was greatly appreciated by the girls in the room. His shirt hiked down revealing his toned abs. I could feel Christian stiffen beside me and I scoot closer to him. It must have done the trick because he instantly relaxes and grabs my hand to kiss my scar again.

Elliot spins the bottle next and it lands on Mia. "Better choose wisely, sis." Elliot grins rubbing his hands together. I see a glimmer of determination in her eyes and opts for dare. Elliot smiles evilly as he walks up to Mia. He leans down and whispers something in her ear and Christian and I laugh as we see Mia's eyes widen in horror. Knowing Elliot, he must've picked something utterly disgusting.

"No! No way. You have to pick another one. That's completely revolting."

"No can do, sis. You chose dare and I dare you to get dog shit thrown at you." He triumphantly grins. At that the guys and myself started to laugh. Only the girls were mirroring Mia's horrified expression. The girls who somehow ended up next to him after he did his dare started to slowly crawl away from him. That's right ladies- Elliot Grey might be good looking, but none of you are ready to tolerate his bizarre personality. Plus, the amount of sex jokes he makes are barely tolerable since he entered high school.

I look up at Christian and wonder if he and I would still be friends in high school. I'd never not want to be friends with him, _unless yenno. _But Elliot said that people change a lot once they go to high school. I wonder if he and I were going to meet new friends and start to slowly drift with one another. Will he get tired of just hanging out with me and he'll meet another girl that he's completely comfortable with? A girl that he would call his girlfriend.

I feel my heart drop just thinking about the unknown future. Someday, Christian's going to meet someone who's right for him. And she won't be me. That's why I need to take Mia's advice and move on. _That's right, Steele. You need to move on. _

"Ana?" Crap- I didn't realize I was looking at Christian this whole time with this sad expression and Christian is looking at me like I was crazy.

"Sorry. I didn't realize I was staring," I mumble.

"Be careful now. Don't start falling for me," he laughs. _Too late._

"Christian! Tell Elliot that he can't fling dog dung at me."

"Elliot, as funny that might be- I don't think our mother will appreciate us flinging shit at our sister." Christian says with a straight face.

"We have to at least fling mud at her," Elliot whines like he was still in fifth grade. Mia sags back on the floor in relief and agrees.

Within five minutes, we were all at the back of the us in front of the boat house. Most of the people were gone including the goons who were hitting on me. But before they left, they greeted me a happy birthday again and six of them managed to slip their numbers in my pocket. I could feel Christian tense up when they stopped us and if looks could kill, we would have at least five murder cases in our hands. _See Steele? He protects you like his little sister. _

We stood outside for a good twenty minutes just flinging mud at Mia. It was actually fun and Mia took it like a sport. Elliot and Christian were more than happy to throw mud at Mia- especially when she stripped into her bikini in front of four of our male classmates. Originally, Elliot was the only who was supposed to throw, but after Mia's little stunt, Christian was the first one to scoop up a large amount of mud and splattered it all over her. We decided to join in and after we were done, you wouldn't be able to recognize Mia at all. Not an inch of Mia's skin could be seen.

We were once again back in the room after Mia disappeared to take a shower. "Okay guys. It's my turn to spin. Prepare yourself Ana. This one is gonna land on the birthday girl." She winks at me and I can't help but let out a nervous laugh. Judging by the sly grin on her face, she has something up her sleeves. Then again, when does she not? Whatever it is, I'd rather not find out.

She leans over and spins the bottle. I watch as it rapidly spins and then slowly stops directly at me. I curse under my breathe and Christian laughs. I never did like swearing and Christian is the only person in the world that knows that I have said a few 'fucks' and 'shits' here and there. Mia and Elliot on the other hand thinks I'm a saint and I'd rather wring my own neck than to swear. I groan into my hands and Mia actually jump from her seat in glee.

"Birthday girl. Truth or Dare."

Fudge it- I'll let Mia have her fun. "Dare."

"Dare?"

"Yes, Mia. _Dare._"

The corners of her mouth pull into an evil grin as she locks eyes with one of the guys that was playing with us. Actually, it wasn't any other guy. It was this kid named Justin from my class. I've sat next to Justin a couple of times and we were even gym partners for one class. Apparently, Justin had a little crush on me ever since.

I shoot Mia a warning glance and by the way Christian stiffened beside me, we knew exactly what his sister was thinking. "Birthday girl. I dare you to kiss Justin."

"Mia…" Christian growls, his voice deeper than usual.

"I don't think Justin would like that." I squeak looking at Justin hoping he sees how much I don't want to kiss him. "I actually don't mind," he smirks. Christian produces this low rumbling sound coming from his chest- too low that only I could hear it. And that bastard Justin, is actually enjoying my discomfort.

"Pick another dare for me. I'll do anything else but this."

"Oh c'mon Ana. It's just one kiss. It's not like this will be your first kiss. Besides…" Mia crawls over to my side and whispers, " this will help you from moving on."

How in the world will this help me move on from Christian? And about my first kiss. I told Mia that I have kissed someone before, but that was just a lie to get her off my back. "No Mia. I am not going to kiss him."

"You have to kiss someone else at least! I let you guys throw dirt all over me for Christ sa-" Mia didn't even get to finish her sentence when Christian interrupts.

"Oh for fucks sakes," Christian mutters. Christian yanks my arm towards him and then he crashes his lips onto mine. He kisses me roughly, but his lips against mine are so soft. My eyes are wide in shock and everyone is whistling at us. He ends the kiss and I am somewhat disappointed it didn't last longer.

Christian stands up and leaves the room. Mia and Elliot matches my expression- utter shock. Poor Justin looks like he's about to have a heart attack. I sit back to my spot and all eyes are on me and I feel like my cheeks are on fire.

I don't know what just happened, but one thing is for sure. My feelings for Christian has just increased. There goes my chances from moving on and oddly, I'm not disappointed. Christian Grey- how the hell do I get over you?

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><p><strong>Here's the second chapter and thank you to people who gave my story a chance. I'm still new to writing and this will be my first fanfic ever. So, have patience with me guys and I'll try to update as often as I can. Leave a review and suggest some things you'd like to see as this story progresses. <strong>

**xoxo JadeV**


	3. Regrets

Waking up in the middle of the night, I get up to get a glass of water downstairs. I walk past Christian's room and I can't help but think about our kiss a few hours ago. _My first kiss_. I haven't seen Christian since he walked out and locked himself in his room. Mia interrogated me after everyone was gone and I don't think she believed me when I said that Christian and I weren't dating and I had no idea what took over Christian for him to kiss me. I know Christian thinks of me as his friend and I know he will never think of me the way I think of him. He probably just felt over protective and sensed that I felt uncomfortable with the whole situation and that's why he kissed me instead of some kid I barely know. Yeah… that's it. Just over protective Christian making its appearance once again.

Someday I might tell him how I feel but for now, I'm content with the current relationship I have with him- friends… best friends.

Chugging the rest of my drink, I walk back upstairs and I notice light seeping underneath Christian's door as I walked by it. He probably couldn't sleep again. Maybe I should talk to him?

"Christian?" I knock. No answer. I try again. Still nothing. I hear something shuffle through the door so I know he's not sleeping yet. I've hung out at Christian's room more than I have at Mia's so I just turned the knob and-

"OH MY GOD-" I drop my glass of water and it spills its content on the carpet. Hearing the noise, he turns around so fast his hand still wrapped around his dick. _Yup_- I said it. Hand wrapped around his dick. Oh my god. The light that was seeping through the door was from his laptop and even fifteen feet away, I could clearly see that he was watching porn.

"Oh my god. What the fuck, Ana!" He stands up and it only made the already awkward situation worse. He yanks off his headphones from the computer and a bunch of grunts, moans and _'oh yessss'_ could be heard from the speakers.

Christian starts panicking and he is blushing from freaking head to toe. He tries to close the video but it only ends up making the video louder. If this wasn't so awkward and I was trying not to stare at his dick, I would've laughed. As much as I enjoy watching him freak out, I rush in to help him since I didn't want the whole house to wake up to the sounds of moans.

My eyes are glued to the computer screen as I finally close the video. I caught a tiny part and I had no idea a girl could be so flexible. Christian and I sigh in relief as the sound of sex disappeared. I turn towards him thinking he was already decent.

I try- I really do try to not look down, but my eyes made it to his crotch somehow. He is still very erect and he. is. huge. My eyes feel like they're about to fall out of their sockets. "Christian… you're still uhh." He looks down and sees that he still hasn't pulled his boxers up.

He quickly pulls his boxers up and we look at each other's blushing faces in silence. The silence is uncomfortable and awkward. How does one talk to someone after walking in on them masturbating? Five minutes pass by and none of us has uttered a noise so I just decided to walk out. Hell- we'll deal with the awkwardness tomorrow.

I reach for the door but as I walk out, he pulls me back towards his room and slams the door shut behind me. He twists me so that my back was right against the door and his face was oh so dangerously close to mine. He is leaning on me and I could feel his erection digging into my thigh. His eyes are closed and his breathing matches mine.

"Anastasia…" he breathes. His lips are aligned just above my eyes and I can't help but notice how much taller he is now. It was only a year ago that we were the same height and now he's towering over me. All these years, I've been spending so much time with him that I never noticed how much he has grown. He's not the short, skinny kid I met anymore. He's shirtless and I could see that his chest was more defined making his scars stand out more. I am tempted to lean in and kiss them. Kiss the pain away, but I don't because I know the aftermath won't be good. I look up and his face is more angular and I can even see some stubble growing under his chin. You'd think that I would've noticed all of these little changes since I liked him, but I failed to notice how much he has grown up.

I look up at him through my lashes and I let out a tiny gasp as my eyes meet the stormiest shade of gray eyes I have ever seen. He leans in closer and I could practically taste him. His gaze falls on my lips and back to my eyes and I don't know what happened but in the next second, his hands were cupping my cheeks and my hands were gripping his hair. Our lips touch and my eyes shoot open as a jolt of electricity shocks me. He moans and I know he felt it too. I let my eyes close once again as I feel the warmth of his skin against my own. My lips moves along with his letting him take the lead. It was urgent yet sensual and I could feel the heat of our kiss all throughout my body. This kiss was filled with lust and full of raw emotion unlike our kiss earlier. His hand explored my body and I moan as I get an unfamiliar feeling _down there_.

His hand makes it way up my shirt but stops when the doorknob rattles and Christian and I freeze as we hear Mia's muffled voice through the door.

"Christian? Have you seen Ana?" Mia asks. I hold my breath fearing she would be able to hear me. The last thing I need is for Mia to see me kissing her brother- again. Our lips part as he rests his forehead against mine.

"I haven't seen her since the party," he manages to gather his breath on time.

"If she drops by your room tell her I looked for her."

"I don't know why she'd drop by but sure. Goodnight Mia." he says pushing away from the door and takes a few steps back away from me. Mia says goodnight and I wait before I hear Mia's door close then I release the breath I was holding in. I look up at Christian and see that his eyes are closed once again and for the first time, I have no idea what Christian is thinking. He frowns as he pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Ana, I'm sorry." His eyes are still glued to the floor.

"Sorry? Sorry about what?" I ask even though I have a good guess.

"About the kiss. It was stupid." He looks up at me and all I see is regret.

_Stupid._ I feel like I've just been slapped over and over again. He regrets it. He thinks the kiss was stupid. He regrets the kiss. Of course he regrets it. He could have any other girl he wanted. I'm just _bestfriend_ material after all. If anything's stupid, that would be me. How stupid could I be to believe that our kiss meant something more.

"I should leave," I turn towards the door feeling my eyes blur with tears. I have to leave. I don't want him to see me cry over something 'stupid' as he puts it.

"Ana wait. Please don't cry. I just don't want to ruin everything that we have. Our friendship is the thing I value most in this world." He grabs my hand and kisses my scar but I continue to face away from him. When Christian kisses my scar, usually I find comfort in his touch and now, I just don't feel anything at all. Tears are threatening to fall, but I refuse to let him see me in that state.

"I have to go." I shrug his hand off and I don't turn back as I run down the hallway and into Mia's room. I rush into the bathroom and turn the shower on. I sag against the door and I cover my mouth to stifle the cries that erupted from my chest. I knew that I had to face him tomorrow but for now, I just want to cry and get rid of the hurt that I set myself up for.

It was no shock to me that when I came down for breakfast this morning that there was a lack of one Christian Grey. By the time my dad picked me up, Christian got back from his 'jog' and completely ignored me. It was a typical move for him to shut down once things went out of control and quite frankly, I'm tired of it. He can't just shut me out whenever he wants. I am… _was?_ No, I am his bestfriend for Christ's sake. I might have cried over this last night, but him treating me like a jackass won't solve anything. He might not want to do anything with me, but I'm not just going to give up like that. If he thinks I'm just going to be quiet about this, he has something else coming. I pull out my phone and quickly text him…

**We need to talk- A**

Christian replies a second later. _Big surprise there..._

**Not now Ana- C**

_Not now?_ Someone's determined to get me out of their life.

**You might be ready to throw out our friendship out the window, but I'm not. I can see that I don't mean that much to you as you've told me. When you stop being a fucking ass you know how to contact me- A**

Tossing my new phone (courtesy of my MIA mother) on the bed, I walk into my bathroom and stripped out of my clothes. Filling the tub with steaming hot water, I gently ease in the water until I was completely submerged from neck to toe. I let myself relax as I start feeling the fatigue from the party last night. My eyes were starting to droop but it snaps open when I hear my phone ringing in my bedroom. Unless it's Christian trying to call me- they can wait. Actually- Christian can wait too. The ringing goes on for a couple more seconds. I contemplate whether I should get up or not. Finally, the ringing stops and I fall back into the tub once again.

Right now, I'd rather not think about him but I find it difficult as my thoughts fill with Christian anyway and how much of a prick he was. I mean- how is he the one ignoring me and acting like a pouting girl? _I_ should be ignoring _him_ and doing the pouting! I wasn't the one that initiated the kiss anyway. It was him- on both freaking times. Also, Christian new I've never kissed anyone before. I told him I was waiting for the right guy. I mean- yes, the right guy was indeed Christian but he couldn't have known that. Could he? For all I know, Mia could've told Christian that I liked him and he knew all along. Maybe he only kissed me because it was my birthday. _So was it like a pity kiss? No, Christian would never do that to me. This is my bestfriend I'm thinking about- of course Christian would never do that to me._ Great- I'm even rambling in my thoughts.

The bath absolutely did not serve its purpose of relaxing me. If anything- I am more pissed off than ever at Christian. The water was getting too cold anyway and I was getting pruny and my mood is declining even more as we speak. Might as well get out now. Damn you Christian Grey. Even if I try not to think about you, you still invade my head anyway.

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><p><strong>Here's the third chapter. Sorry it took so long. Mid-term report cards are coming out which meant I had a ton of last minute studying for a bunch of tests that I probably failed. Sorry if it's short, but I wanted to post something by today. You guys know what to do. Leave reviews, follow favorite. Or not, that's cool too. **

**xoxo JadeV**


	4. To our Firsts

**A/N: POVs jump between A and C.**

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><p><em>You might be ready to throw out our friendship out the window, but I'm not. I can see that I don't mean that much to you as you've told me. When you stop being a fucking ass you know how to contact me- A<em>

I must have read Ana's message at least a hundred times already since I got it. The fact that she actually used profanity shows me just how serious she is. I mentally slap myself as I collapse on my bed after my three hour jog. Because I'm an asshole, I purposely took one long ass jog so that I wouldn't be there when she woke up and hopefully, she'd be gone by the time I came back. Also, I needed to clear my mind from last night's events.

Everything is so fucked up. The things that happened last night was wrong in all different kinds of levels. From when I kissed her during that stupid game, when she walked in on me and to the time that I kissed her again and made her leave crying after that.

Mia went over the fucking line with that game yesterday. I saw how Ana was very uncomfortable with this Justin kid and that fucking dick head was grinning ear to ear at the thought of kissing Ana. If he thinks he's going to get Ana's first… _first..._

_Shit._

"_Shit. Fuck shit shit shit SHIT!_" I took Ana's first kiss- and her second. Fuck- I know that Ana was saving her first kiss for someone special. Ana must hate my guts right now. Hell- even I hate myself even more than I usually do. If Mia went over the line yesterday, I went above and beyond. I am an A class douchebag and I even called our kiss stupid even though I didn't think that way. I need to make this right with her.

I quickly got dressed and headed downstairs in search for Elliot. If only thirteen year olds were allowed to drive because I must have gone into every single room in the house and see no signs of Elliot. Damn this gigantic house. "ELLIOT!" I yell.

"Calm down, bro. What do you want from me?" I turn around and see him going downstairs with his new flavor of the week. I swear he's going to get some sort of disease with the number of people he's been fucking.

"I need you to give me a ride to Ana's place."

"What for? Do you miss her already?" he teased. Normally, I would've punched him 'playfully' but I don't have the time to argue with my child like older brother. I wasn't in the mood for fun and jokes and my thoughts must have reflected on my face because Elliot took one look at me and mumbled, "I'll go get my keys," before disappearing back upstairs.

"You know, Elliot's room is pretty messy and he loses his keys all the time." I turn around and see that Elliot's friend was leaning against the wall and biting her lip.

"We can have a little bit of _fun_ while your brother is looking for his keys," she says batting her eyelashes and biting her lip again. She holds up her hand and dangles Elliot's car keys in my face. Is this skank for real? Fuck me- _Elliot found himself a classy one here. _

"C'mon, Chris… your brother doesn't have to know…" Did she seriously just call me Chris? I have no time for her shit. I yank the keys out of her hand and yell for Elliot.

"Sorry man. I can't seem to find my keys."

"Your skank took it. She says she and I can have some _fun _while you're gone looking for them_. _You have a real catch here, bro" I say while tossing the keys at him.

He shoots her a glare and tells me to go outside and wait for him there and gives me the keys. I sit in the car waiting for Elliot and damn it- we're wasting time. He finally enters the garage in about three minutes and I see an angry, red hand print right across his face.

"What happened?" Elliot starts the car and leaves the garage. I see his skank walking along the sidewalk and when she saw us, she flipped us off.

"Real classy..." he mutters under his breath. "I told her that I wasn't interested in whores like her and told her to get her own ride home. Sorry about her by the way. Anyway, forget about her and let's go see your Ana."

_My Ana? _Why do I like that sound more than I'm supposed to? Shit- Ana is your bestfriend Christian. She's like you're fucking sister. She's exactly like Mia. Yeah- that's right. I wouldn't want to kiss Mia!

_But shit- I'm lying to myself if I ever said that I treated Ana like a sister. _I have no problems kissing Ana. I know I shouldn't feel this way... But- fuck. I do.

I am on the edge of my seat as we turn the corner into Ana's street. As soon as we were sort of in front of Ana's house, I rip off my seat belt and opened the car door before it even stopped. I feel Elliot's hand grab my arm and I have never wanted to punch him so much in my life. He's delayed me enough. I turn to glare at him and he has a stupid smirk on his face.

"Mom and dad are out of town. Invite Ana over." I simply nod as he lets go of my arm and pushes me out of his car and speeds away. Grace is going to kill him if she ever catches him speeding. I walk up Ana's porch and notice that Ray's car was missing. I've been here so many times, it's like my second home. I don't even knock and went straight for the spare key tucked behind a potted plant and let myself in.

Ray and Carla is nowhere in sight. I call Ana's phone several times and sure enough, I hear her ringtone upstairs. I head upstairs and knock softly on Ana's door. I hear water running and I enter Ana's room since I know she's in her bathroom taking a bath. I know her well enough to know that Ana only takes baths when she's really upset to relax her. I really screwed this up.

_No shit, Grey. _I groan internally.

I take of my shoes and lie down on Ana's bed. I am still exhausted from the party and I didn't get much sleep last night. I'll wait for Ana until she finishes her shower and then I'll grovel for forgiveness and make things right with her. I hug the gigantic teddy bear I got for her on her birthday. I attached a locket to it and being the unobservant person that she is, she must've looked passed it and thought it was an accessory for the teddy bear. It's only been hours and I can already smell Ana's scent on it. I hug it closer to my chest and inhale Ana's scent as if it was the most comforting scent in the world. Vanilla, honey and Ana… _my Ana_… I smile at the thought and close my eyes and wait.

**APov**

Shoot- Wanting to immediately soak in the water, I completely forgot to bring clothes with me. Thank god I have my own bathroom so I don't have to worry about walking across the hallway butt naked.

I wrap myself in a towel and head out. I head straight for my closet which was adjacent to my bathroom door. Deciding to dress for comfort since I'm not going anywhere, I pull out a pair of sweats and an old shirt. I let the towel pool beneath me. As I tug the shirt above my head, I scream bloody murder as I feel someone grab my shoulder from behind.

I close my eyes and whack whoever touched me with a hairbrush. I grab the towel I left on the floor and quickly wrap it around myself as I run to the door. I stop dead in my tracks when I hear him.

"Shit, Ana. That fucking hurt."

I spin on my heels and glare at Christian. What the hell was he doing here? "Where did you come from? I thought you were a rapist or something. Why didn't you say anything?"

_Shoot. He saw me naked. _"YOU SAW ME NAKED!" I scream more to myself that at him.

"I'm sorry! I fell asleep on your bed waiting for you to finish your shower and when you got out, I woke up and you were naked!" he let's out in one breath looking remorseful.

This is like a repeat of last night. Only this time- I'm the one who was caught naked.

"Get out."

"Wait- Ana. I came here to make things right. I want to apologi-"

"Apology accepted. Now get out." I cut him off, pinching the bridge of my nose as my eyes closed. I was hoping to see him grovel for forgiveness but I am hella embarrassed. I practically stripped in front of him. Hell- I did strip in front of him. God only knows what he saw and how much of it he saw. Oh my god- this day keeps getting worse.

"Ana..."

I open my eyes and see Christian with a distraught face. "Please don't hate me. Don't leave me." he whispers.

_Huh? _"What? Christian. Of course not. Why would I leave you?" I ask confused. I could never hate Christian for obvious reasons.

"Because you're kicking me out. And after what happened last night..." he looks lost for a second and I am brought back to the past when Christian and I were younger. This wasn't the first time he has asked me to not leave him. _Sigh- _Christian and his insecurities...

"Oh Christian. Me kicking you out has nothing to do with last night. As you may have noticed, I am currently just wrapped in just a towel and god forbid I let you see me naked again," I say. I wrap my towel tighter around me. I can feel his eyes follow my every move. I must look hideous right now. I probably gained five pounds from last night. His brows furrow as I attempt to hide myself from him.

"You don't hate me," he states, his eyes light up just a little.

"I don't." I assure him. That's all he needs- a little assurance. He steps up and I am pressed against a wall. I anticipate for a kiss like last night, but he grabs my hand. He kisses it gently and pulls me in for a hug.

"I lied to you last night. I didn't think the kiss was stupid." he whispers against my hair and I felt my breathing stop. I could feel the thump of his heart get faster as my cheek rests against his chest. I don't think he even realizes that I'm touching him there.

He lifts my head up and gently places a kiss on my lips. My hands automatically reach up to the back of his neck as I deepen the kiss. There's that spark again. His tongue invades my mouth and I return the favor. Our slow kiss becomes urgent. We are all teeth and tongue until we pull away as we gasped for air.

"Am I forgiven?" he asks grinning.

"Kiss me again and you will be," he pushes me on the bed and he lays down beside me. He pulls me into his arms so that I am half straddling him and for the next few minutes, we just got lost in the moment.

**CPov**

Ana and I made out for the longest time ever and I feel like my zipper is about to burst. My arms are wrapped around her as I trace gentle circles on her back as we continue to lay on her bed. Knowing that she's completely naked underneath her towel makes me even harder.

"I'm confused," she says moments later. She wriggles free from me and her towel drops down a little. I don't think she noticed that she's practically showing off her cleavage and I will myself to look at her in the eyes.

"Confused about what?" I ask her, swallowing the lump in my throat. I don't think I'll be able to handle if she told me that she didn't like what we just did.

"Where does our friendship stand?" she asks and I was silent for a few seconds thinking about my next words. I'm too fucked up to become her boyfriend since it involves love. How the fuck can someone ever love me?

"I honestly don't know. All I'm sure of for now is that you mean more to me than just a friend."

"Wait- you don't mean like a sister, right?" she asks. Her eyebrows knits together and forms that little v shape in between. I sit up and lean in to kiss it and then her lips.

"Of course not," I chuckle. "Can I admit something?" I say moments later. She nods eagerly.

"You are my first kiss too." Her eyes widen and I have to laugh. "You're kidding, right? Christian Grey... _The _Christian Grey has never been kissed?" I nod and suddenly she starts laughing to the point where there are tears in her eyes. I pretend to be hurt and that only makes her laugh even harder.

"I took your first kiss," She smiles like she won a billion dollars.

"And I took yours." I lean in and kiss her as if my life depended on it. Her hands grips my hair as I shamelessly grind my erection against her thigh. She moans as my hands glides over her breasts. I continue to kiss her as I take the towel off of her. She's so beautiful and I hate the fact she tried to hide from me. I tweak her erect nipples causing her to arch her back so that her bare pussy was grinding against my erection.

"I want to touch you." I freeze as I feel myself begin to panic. I don't think I'm ready for that yet but I don't want to push her away.

"Ana- I..."

"I don't mean your chest, Christian. I want to _touch _you," she says pointing at my erection. I nod and flip us over so she is now laying on top of me. I peek over her shoulder to make sure that the door is closed and locked.

"My parents won't be back until later." she winks.

"Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?" I chuckle.

She slowly unzips my pants and smirks at me when she sees that I'm not wearing any underwear.

"I was in a hurry to beg for forgiveness." I say in defense.

Her hand continues to caress my erection and it pops free from my pants and I almost laugh when she gasps in shock. I take her hand in mine and guide her hand up and down my shaft. I let out an involuntary moan as I tell her to gently add pressure on her grip.

"Am I doing this right?" she asks as she bites her lip. _Yup- _It's only sexy if Ana does it.

"Yes. Fuck baby. You're so fucking perfect," I moan. I let her go and let her set her own pace. I close my eyes but they snap open as I feel something warm wrap around my dick. She has her lips wrapped around half of my cock and it fucking feels like heaven. "Shit Ana. Don't stop. Don't fucking stop," I grunt as I thrust in her mouth and my hands manage to find her hair. She gags and pulls away a little so that her lips were only sucking on the head of my penis. She twirls her tongue around and I can feel myself getting closer. I'm right at the edge but I don't want this to end yet.

Apparently, Ana had other plans. She sheaths her teeth with her lips and takes all of me, sucking all the way. Her tiny hands cups my balls as she gently squeezes them. I tighten my grip on her hair as I come in her mouth with a loud grunt. Ana hums and the vibrations from her throat makes me come harder.

I loosen my grip on her hair as she releases my now limp dick with a pop. She sits on her heels and I sit up only to yank her towards me and kiss her. "Wait- Christian."

"What's wrong?" I ask breathless. I hope she hasn't gone all shy on me.

"You just came in my..." Oh.

"Baby, I don't care. Knowing that I have been there turns me on even more." I kiss her and this time, she doesn't fight it. I invade her mouth with my tongue and I can taste myself on her. My hand palms her breast as the other went to her soaking core. Knowing she's wet for me almost makes me come instantly. She moans in protest as I part my lips from hers.

"Patience, baby. Let me take care of you too." A look of fear flashes in her eyes for a second and I reassure her that I wasn't going to hurt her with a kiss.

"Please be gentle." I can tell that she's scared and nervous. "Baby, open your eyes." I whisper in her ear. I feel my breath catch in my throat as she opens them and reveals her clear blue eyes. I lean in to kiss her...

_WARNING. ASSHOLE CALLING. AN ASSHOLE IS CALLING YOUR CELLULAR PHONE._

God fucking damn it. My ringtone for Elliot is like a bucket of ice cold water on my libido and I can see that it had the same effect on Ana too. Shit- Elliot's still a cock block even though he's not here.

"What?!" I yell at my phone. I can almost see Elliot grin through the phone. "What the fuck do you want, Elliot?"

"What's taking you and Ana so long? It's been like- two hours already." Has it? I tend to lose track when I'm with Ana and I'm not really sure how long I fell asleep on her bed for. "Get your asses over here already. Don't tell me you already took advantage of our birthday girl." Of all the people, Elliot had to be my brother. One perverted motherfucker that assumes every dirty thing and somehow gets it right.

"It's none of your business. Fuck off, Elliot." I can hear him try to hold in a laugh from the other end of the line. "We'll be there in a few minutes." I hang up and turn to Ana. She's already getting dressed and damn Elliot for ruining the moment.

"We have to go back to my place."

"Sure, no problem. I'll just call my dad and ask for permission," she says. She doesn't look at me when she says it and I can tell there are a thousand things running through her mind. Probably a hundred questions and I'm not completely sure if I'm ready to answer them.

She's really trying to avoid my gaze and just looks at the floor. I walk towards her and lift her chin so that she looks at me. Once again, I am mesmerized by her eyes as I lean in to plant a soft kiss on her lips. I end it before it becomes more than it should be and I end up ripping her clothes away from her. "Christian-"

"Shh." I silence her once again with a kiss as she pouts adorably. "Let's not think about it for now." I know I'm just delaying things but I just made up with her now and I don't want to ruin this moment we're having together.

**APov **

We take a cab to Christian's house and his hands were laced with mine the entire ride. We arrive at Bellevue and without even thinking, I let go of Christian's hand. He asks me what was wrong and I told him that I didn't want Mia and Elliot to start assuming things. I still don't know where my relationship with Christian stands and I know he's trying to avoid my question. After everything that happened today, It still doesn't feel real. It was only last week when I was imagining how soft Christian's lips would be and now, I don't have to imagine things anymore.

"You guys finally made it," Elliot beams as he answers the door. "Did you guys make up?" he wags his eyebrow at the words _make up, _and I blush crimson. For some reason, I feel like he knows what Christian and I have done earlier. I don't think Christian would ever tell his brother anything this personal. On the other hand, Elliot _is _Elliot and he has the dirtiest mind in all of Seattle.

We go to the theatre and find Mia watching some action movie and there are dozens of booze lying around. "You know Carrick is going to kill you, right?" I say. I have only gotten drunk once with the Grey siblings with the booze Elliot stole and when Ray and Carrick found us all hungover at Elliot's room with most of us barely even dressed, let's just say Ray yelled at me until he was blue in the face.

I still get shudders when I remember that conversation with him and when he asked me if I had sex with either of the Grey brothers. Mind you, this was only two months ago and sex wasn't even on my mind till now. After that, Ray insisted on having the sex talk with me. Where was my mother in all of this? Who the hell knows. Saying that those five minutes with Ray we're awkward would be a huge understatement. Since then, Ray has been asking me to carry around pepper spray and he even slipped a condom in my bag once. I get a ton of those in SexEd anyway. I shoved one in my pocket earlier before Christian and I went here.

Am I ready to lose my virginity to Christian? Yes- I am. I think. I know its supposed to be painful and there would be blood involved. I was talking to a bunch of Mia's friends who were a year older than us and suddenly, the topic turned into first times. One of the girls lost her virginity a few months before and she said she could still remember the pain and how she just wanted him out of her. Every move he made was torture and she said she was terrified when she looked down and saw blood on his penis. She was so glad when the guy finished and pulled out of her. She couldn't walk properly for days after that and she said she was never going to have sex again unless it was with her boyfriend and she controls the pace. _Hah- me controlling Christian. That'll never happen. _

"Relax Ana. This was all the alcohol from last night."

"Last night?" I don't think I remember anyone drinking or getting drunk last night. Then again, I didn't really socialize with any of them.

"Since you only took the stuffed toy that Christian gave you, Mia and I took the liberty of unwrapping all of the other gifts and that's when we found all of this booze," he grins. "Our parents won't be home until the middle of the weak so we won't have a repeat of last time."

Both Christian and I roll our eyes at him. "Elliot, being the oldest out of all of us, shouldn't you be the more responsible one and not try to get us drunk?" I swear to god- Elliot acts more like a five year old but, this five year old likes partying, sex and booze. Lot's of it.

"Oh c'mon, Ana. One bottle or two won't hurt," Mia pleads. I look towards Christian and he looks like he has something else in his mind. "Should we?" I ask him.

"One drink won't hurt," he replies. Of course, we have another alcoholic brother over here.

Three movies and a bottle of tequila later, Elliot and Mia are passed out on the couch, Christian decides to play with my hair and I am tipsy and right at the edge of drunk. Most of the alcohol was a bunch of expensive stuff and not to mention- strong. Elliot and Christian probably drank three quarters of the bottle. Christian only drank as much as Elliot because he was drinking some of mine since I didn't want to drink them.

Mia and I drank the rest and by the second movie, the boys were a blubbering mess. We were watching _A Walk to Remember _and the guys couldn't stop crying for ten minutes. Mia and I managed to take a decent video of them despite of our drunken haze.

"Christian, what are you doing?" I smack his wandering hands away. He has managed to make a perfect french braid and his hands were now traveling down my shorts. "Are you sobered up a little?" He smiles and nods as he takes my hand into his and kisses it gently.

I giggle as Christian continues to caress and kiss my scar. He should be kissing my lips instead. He lifts up his head and asks me what I found so funny.

"I was just remembering how your lips felt so soft and you should be kissing my lips instead of my scar." Hell- It's the alcohol that's making me so blunt.

"You were so scary the first time you kissed me," I blurt out.

"Really, how scary?" I push him down the floor and force him to sit up like the night on my birthday as I sat next to him.

"You grabbed my arm like this-" I tug on his arm so that his face was only inches from mine.

"And you had this scary look on your face and then you ki-" he smashes his lips against mine before I could finish what I was saying. He swipes his tongue along my lips and I open it as he slips his tongue in. I tug on his hair and he groans against my mouth.

I am straddling him and I can feel his erection growing between my legs. I start grinding against him, my hands remain on his shoulders and hair.

"No wait. Ana stop."

"Why?" I whine.

"Elliot and Mia." I look over to where they were passed out on the couch. "Bedroom," I whisper. He takes my hand in his and we run upstairs in his bedroom. This is it. I'm losing my virginity to Christian.

I push him on the bed and crawl up his thighs. I quickly unbutton his pants and slide it off of him. I reach for his erection and slowly stroke it. "Fuck Ana," he grunts. I sit between his legs and I slowly lick his dick from base to tip. He shudders and his hands finds its way to my hair.

I take the head of his dick in my mouth and swirl my tongue over the tip. "Fuck shit. Baby- I want you so much," he whispers. I sit up and he grunts in protest. His eyes are glued to me as I slowly unbutton my shirt. I slip it off and toss it across the room.

I lean forward to kiss him and I yelp in surprise when he flips us over. He is now on top of me and he slams his mouth against mine. His hand makes its way down to the hem of my shorts and he yanks them off leaving me only in my bra. His lips form a smirk when he realizes that I wasn't wearing any underwear either.

"No underwear? Very naughty," he winks and continues to kiss down my body. "Do you trust me?" he asks. I can only nod knowing that I wouldn't be able to form words anyway. He unhooks my bra and one hand palms my breast while he lowers his head to catch my nipple in his mouth. He swirls his tongue around it and a breathless moan escapes me as I feel the warmth of his mouth tingle my skin. His mouth leaves my breast and moves back to my mouth. He pulls away and asks me if I was sure about this.

"Yes. I've never been more sure of anything." I reach out to grab his face with my hands and place a kiss on his lips. He opens his bedside table and pulls out a pack of condoms. _Guess I didn't need to bring any. _My forehead crunches as I imagine endless girls that could've been with Christian. Why else would he keep a pack of condoms beside his bed?

As if he could read my mind, "You're the only one, baby. No one else." I watch as he rolls the condom down his shaft and now I'm beginning to worry if he will even fit inside of me.

"We will take this slow," he swears. He starts kissing me and then he attacks my neck. He continues kissing down my collar bones and I shudder when he brushes his lips against my nipples. He sits in between my legs and positions his erection with my entrance. I almost come on the spot when he takes his finger and glides it along my glistening core.

"So fucking perfect." My eyes widen as he takes that finger and starts sucking on it. His lips return to kissing mine. He tells me to open my eyes and look at him and in one thrust, he breaks through and my eyes shut tight trying to adjust to the sudden pain as tears rolled down my eyes.

"Are you okay? Do you want to stop?" Christian asks as I open my eyes again. His eyes are wide with worry and fear that he might have hurt me.

"It fucking hurts, but don't stop. Please don't stop," I let out with a shaky breath. He places his forehead against mine and he slowly starts moving. The pain is slowly disappearing and I urge Christian to move faster until he is pounding into me.

"Fuck... baby... so… tight," he says as he starts thrusting in me faster.

"Christian baby, harder." I beg him. He's balls deep in every thrust and it only takes a few more before I cry out in ecstasy as I climax and milk him for everything he has.

"So *thrust* Fucking *thrust* Tight. Oh fuck, Ana. I'm going to come." He stills inside of me as he bites my shoulder to stifle his voice as he comes. The wind is knocked out of me as his arms give out and he collapses on top of me. I wince as this causes his penis to penetrate me deeper.

"Sorry," he mumbles as he pulls out of me and kisses me. I watch him dispose of the condom and climbs back to bed. He pulls me in his arms so that my back as touching his bare chest.

"Thank you," he says as he kisses my shoulder.

"Goodnight, Christian." I turn to kiss him goodnight. I manage to stay awake until I could hear Christian's light snores and then I fall asleep myself moments later.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well guys, here's to their first. Fuck- smut shit doesn't come easy to me. I'm sorry if it absolutely sucked. Since I am writing a fanfic which involves a hell of a lot of sex, might as well test the waters and see if I'm any good at it or not. Haven't really updated for the sole reason of sucking so bad at writing sexual scenes. I'm apologizing now. Don't hate- actually bring on the hate because this probably sucked dicks and I **_**might**_ **deserve it. Anyway- you guys know what to do. PM me some suggestions on how to effectively write smut scenes (hoping this isn't a weird/ creepy request although it probs is).**

**Already started the next chapter. Hope that one doesn't take forever to write. Oh, I hope everyone saw the 2nd trailer. I didn't like Dakota as Ana at first, but now I'm starting to like it. She seems to fit, I guess. Can't wait for the movie. I think I can pass as an 18 year old... Hopefully.**

**xoxo Jade V**

**Just curious... How many readers here are male? Are there even any? O.o**


	5. Friends?

**So, I guess I have to do damage control now. Let me just start off by saying that yes- C and A are currently in eighth grade and yes, I know it's too young. I'm not saying that I approve of thirteen year olds having sex but, it happens. For the purpose of this story, it just had to happen. I hated the fact that Christian lost his virginity to some old hag and that's the part that I wanted to change most. So, sorry if my story disgusted/ disturbed/ weirded you out. It's all part of my plot and you just have to trust me on this one.**

* * *

><p>I wake up this morning and find myself in Mia's room fully dressed. Holy hell- if I just imagined the entire thing- the drinking and having sex with Christian, I am going to cry. My entire body feels heavy and I wince as I sit up. Nevermind- I really did have sex with Christian. My lower regions are on fire and holy cow is it ever painful to move. Anyways, what am I doing in Mia's room and where is Christian?<p>

I look over to dashboard and it reads six a.m. Definitely too early to be awake. Elliot and Mia are probably still passed out downstairs. I cannot believe what happened last night. I lost my virginity to Christian. Do I regret it? I don't. Not even a single bit.

Oh god- does Christian regret it? I mean, why else would he dress me and bring me to Mia's room? I jump out of bed and I immediately fall on my knees and hands.

The door opens and thank god it's Christian. "Why are you on the floor?" Christian asks as he helps me sit on the bed.

"My legs got wobbly and I'm sort of in pain but it's okay though. I'm fine now," I blush. He sits next to me and pulls me into his arms.

"I'm sorry. Does it hurt that bad?" he sounds remorseful, but he shouldn't.

"Christian, I'm fine. You don't need to apologize for anything. Last night was..."

"Amazing," he finishes. He puts my hair on one side of my shoulder and kisses the back of my neck. It sends a delicious shiver up my spine.

"Why am I in Mia's room?"

"I woke up early on purpose and I moved you here so they don't get suspicious and Ana..." he let's go of me and now he's pacing across Mia's room. He stops and kneels in front of me. He takes my hand in his and kisses them. He looks scared and I don't think what he's going to say next will make me happy at all.

"What we did yesterday… it can't happen again," he sighs.

"I… I… um," I stutter, unable to form words at the moment. I continue to stare at him while he waits for a response. I take a shaky breath and tear my hands away from his. I crawl up on the middle of the bed and he continues to stare at his empty hands. He looks shocked by my gesture and his hands continue to hang where I left them.

"You regret it…" I whisper and Christian gasps. It's all I could manage without sobbing. What is up with me and crying these days? I've turned into a whiny, little girl. I wrap my arms arms around myself in an attempt to pull myself together.

"No. It's not that. I don't regret it at all. It just… it just can't happen again," he explains looking defeated.

"Why not?" I ask, a tear manages to slip from my eyes.

"We're too young to be doing this shit. Hell- even Elliot didn't lose his virginity until he was sixteen. Last night might have been one of the best nights of my life but, it can't happen again. Not until we're old enough to know the possible consequences of our actions." He has probably ran his fingers through his hair a dozen times as he explains everything to me. My tears instantly dries up as realization dawns on me.

God- Christian is right. We are too young to be doing this. I don't regret anything that happened last night, but it can't happen again. "I know you're right. We were just too caught up in the moment. And the drinks…" I groan, burying my face in my hands. I feel the bed dip and I let Christian pull my hands away from my face. He wipes away the remaining tears from my cheeks and we both give each other shy smiles.

"Where does this leave us?" I ask him. I know he's going to try to avoid this question, but I need to know. I'm not going to lie and say I don't want more with him. Christian looks at me and opens his mouth then closes it back again. Finally, he sighs.

"I don't know what I want. But… I don't think I can have a relationship with you." He never once meets my eyes as he says this. I keep my expression calm and unreadable but inside… I feel like he just reached out and pulled my heart right out of my chest. Last night was probably an eye opener for him. Or maybe he never had the intention of being with me. Of course he didn't. I was the only fool here.

"It looks like you're pretty clear on what you want," I snap. My tone sounded harsher than I intended it to. He looks up at me and starts speaking but I cut him off.

"I understand. We can still be friends, right?" I try to put on my best and the most authentic smile I could muster. He could probably tell but, A+ for effort, right? He smiles back at me the same way I did. "Bestfriends," he says lifting my hand towards his lips.

I stand up and this time, I don't fall on my knees. It still hurts like hell but nothing that a few pain killers can't fix. "Where are you going?" he asks me.

"I'm just going to start on working on breakfast. Elliot must be pretty hungover," I giggle. I rush out the Mia's room despite the throbbing pain, but I just had to get out of there. I groan as I reach the stairs and I contemplate whether I should just crawl down. Whatever, I got myself in this mess, got to face the consequences.

I make a quick trip to the bathroom to get some painkillers and got started on breakfast. Sofia, the Grey's cook, offered to help and we quickly got started on the pancakes and waffles. Sofia has been the Grey's cook since Grace was still a teenager. I love this woman to death. She feels like a mother to me- at least what a real mother should be like. She and I talk until I started the bacon and Mia and Elliot enter the kitchen. Sofia excuses herself and sets all the food in the dining room.

"You two look like hell," I laugh as Elliot makes himself a cup of coffee.

"How come you two look fine?" Elliot pouts, resting his face against the cold, marble counter. I open my mouth to answer, but I close it back up when I turn around and see Christian. I got lost in his gray eyes for a moment but pulled myself together and bid him good morning.

"Elliot, I need to talk to you. Now."

"What for? Can't it wait, Christian? I'm hungry," Elliot whines. Christian gives him a hard look and Elliot pushes his coffee away and follows Christian with a groan.

**CPov**

I lead Elliot to the boathouse and he immediately plops on the couch. I don't even want to be near that couch since I am very much aware what Elliot does down here.

"Whatever this is better be worth missing first dibs on Ana's home cooked panca-"

"I had sex with Ana," I blurt out. He stares at me dumbfounded and I groan in embarrassment. Elliot and I remain silent and I can't believe I just blurted it out like that. He keeps on opening and closing his mouth like a gaping fish. "God damn it Elliot. Say something!" I yell. I can't take the silence anymore and every second it's silent, it just becomes more awkward.

"That's… fucked up, bro. Is that why Ana was shuffling when she walked? I mean, aren't you guys a little bit too young to be having sex? I mean- Ana just turned thirteen and… that's fucked up, bro." Elliot's dumbfounded expression remains and I tug on my hair in frustration. What kind of mess did I get myself into?

"I don't know what to do. I'm so confused by all of _this_," I say waving my hands in the air in front of me.

"Well, I don't know what you want me to do. I can't turn back time. The deed is done. This is why you don't have sex until you're ready. Hell- I didn't even know that you and Ana were dating," my brother exclaims.

"Ana and I aren't dating." I shake my head. Elliot's eyes widen and from dumbfounded, his expression turns into anger.

"What did you just say? You and Ana are _not _dating? And you fucking took her virginity? Was Ana okay with all of this?" he growls and I nod. "What the fuck, Christian! I know I sleep around but at least learn how to respect a girl's feelings. I guess you're the reason why Ana's been upset these past couple days. I can't believe she actually likes you," he fumes as my head snaps up.

"Ana… _likes _me?" I ask. Elliot stares at me like I was dumbest person in the world. It's just impossible though. Why the fuck would Ana ever like someone like me? "You know for a smart person, you really are dumb. Why the fuck would Ana give her virginity to you if she didn't like you?"

"Fuck, Elliot. I don't know what to fucking do. This morning I told Ana what happened last night can never happen again and fuck. I told her that I can't do the relationship thing." I wasn't used to seeing Ana so expressionless. This was the first time that I couldn't read what she was thinking and I honestly thought that everything was fine and soon, the awkwardness between us would pass.

"And why the fuck can't you?" Elliot challenges.

"Elliot. Look at me. I'm so fucked up. I can't be in a relationship with someone. Relationships involve love and-"

"And Ana loves you. Don't even try saying that you don't feel anything for Ana. Because if you didn't, you wouldn't be so flustered like you are right now."

Can I really do it? Can I be in a relationship with someone. It's not just someone, it's Ana. Can I really be in a relationship with her?

"If you decide on dating Ana, do it right. Oh- and use protection, okay? Actually, keep on abstaining from sex. People your age should be holding hands and maybe at least touch each other through layers of clothing, okay?" He puts one hand on my shoulder and leaves me in the boathouse.

Am I ready for something like this? She doesn't even know everything about me. Can I share my dark past with her. Will she still accept me after she finds out about the truth of my past? Will she still like me? Do I like her...? I have always known the answer. I just didn't want to acknowledge it but...

Yes… yes I do...

* * *

><p><strong>APov<strong>

I haven't seen Christian in over three days. Mostly because I refused to let Elliot give me a ride to school and apparently, Christian has the flu. I want to visit him so bad but I don't think I'm ready for that yet. I'll just give my heart time to heal and get rid of this whiny, cry baby persona I have developed.

"How's Christian doing?" I ask Mia as she comes to sit next to me in the cafeteria.

"Christian's doing much better now. I don't understand why you can't just go visit him. You two have been weird since Sunday. Did you guys fight or something?" Mia asks. I give her a small shrug and continue on poking at my food. I inwardly laugh at the thought of Christian scolding me if he ever sees me playing with my food. I look up and frown when I see Justin sit across from me. God- does this kid never give up?

"Hey, Ana." I give him a small smile.

"So, Mr. Cooper wanted me to give this to you." Justin hands me a note and I frown. It says that he assigned Justin to me as my student. Apparently, Justin is failing literature and needs a peer- tutor. Great.

"Super," I smile sarcastically and I don't think he got it. He smiles back at me and winks at Mia before leaving my table. Mia immediately pulls out her phone and even from here, I could see that she was sending Justin the thumbs up emoticon. I roll my eyes and excuse myself so I could get to my next class- Literature. Let's see the authenticity of this note.

"Oh yes. I did assign Justin to you. Is there a problem, Ana?" Mr. Cooper says raising his unibrow.

"No. Not all. We'll start after school," I sigh. Damn it. Luck must be on Justin and Mia's side.

The dismissal bell finally rings and I wonder if I should visit Christian after this. I wanted to text him earlier, but I pussied out. Damn it. I can't even text my _bestfriend _and ask him how he was. What a coward, bestfriend.

Justin and I walk to my house and he's a pretty good conversationalist. At least the walk home wasn't silent and awkward. He kept on asking about stuff I like and I'm beginning to see that he's actually not that bad of a guy. The only thing that kept pissing me off was that he was bumping my his hand on mine on some sorry attempt to hold my hand. Sorry Justin. The only hands I'm interested in holding has flu and he doesn't even like me the way I like him.

Finally we get home and I immediately kick off my shoes. Justin does the same and I prepare a light snack for us as he sets everything up in the living room. I see a note from mother dearest stuck on the fridge and apparently, she can't make it to dinner. What else is new? I call Ray and leave a voicemail and continue plating the snacks. I almost drop the thing when I turn around and see Justin leaning against the counter.

"Holy crap. You scared me," I laugh. I walk past him and place the plate in the middle of the coffee table. He and I are sat down on the couch and I decide on starting with the easy stuff. When Mr. Cooper said Justin was failing, he was really failing. Lucky thing I'm very good at this. Five minutes in, Justin asks me.

"Are you and Grey dating?"

"No." I felt a tiny stab in my chest but I ignore it as I ask Justin another question. I could tell that he totally wasn't paying any attention to my questions.

"What is it Justin? Just spit it out," I say frustrated.

"I like you Ana and I've always wanted to do this from the very beginning," he says with speed.

"Do wha-" He silences me with his lips and my hand automatically push on his chest. He wasn't nearly as muscular and lean as Christian, but he was still bigger than me. His kiss was sloppy and he obviously didn't know how to do it. I am more pissed than scared because he was kissing me like how a dog would lick its face. Not a pretty picture. I try to beat on his chest and then I hear the door open.

"Ana… WHAT THE FUCK!" I know that voice anywhere. Suddenly, Justin was lifted off of me and Christian was beating him to a pulp. I wipe my face with my sweater and get in between Justin and Christian.

"Get out of my way, Ana" he seethes.

"Ana, I'm so sorry. I don't know what took over me." I am so pissed off at him and in all fairness, he does look shocked. Either from suddenly attacking me or just from getting a beating. It's a good thing Christian didn't hit Justin's face that much. Justin only has a cut lip and Christian is still vibrating from anger beside me.

"Get your stuff and get the fuck out!" Christian snarls. I stay in between them as Justin gathers his stuff.

"Stay the fuck away from her!" Christian yells at the closed doors.

"How can you be so stupid, Ana?! What if that was Ray? Do you want Ray to walk in on you having sex with some loser?!" he starts screaming.

"I'm glad to see you're all better and- He was forcing himself on me you anus. What the hell are you doing here anyway and how did you get in here?"

"Spare key and I came here to apologize and I wasn't expecting to see you whoring yourself to other people."

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me- just because you lost your virginity, that doesn't mean you get to open your legs to anyone."

"What the fuck is your problem? Did you really come here to apologize or are you just here to make me feel bad? And even if I was whoring myself around- what's it to you? You're not my fucking father!" Christian seems taken aback to hear me swear. You know what- he can go fuck himself.

"I know I'm not your fucking father. I know because your father won't ever do this to you!" he presses me against the wall while cupping my face. He slams his mouth against mine and our teeth clash. He bites my bottom lip and I gasps in surprise.

"_You. are. mine._" He kisses me softly and breaks the kiss only to pull me into an embrace.

"What are you talking about?" I ask him, confused. I'm _his_? He better not be pulling this possessive shit on me since he was the one that wanted to bestfriends.

"I know what I want now." I can feel my heart start to race. "These past couple of days. I had time to think. I'm taking Elliot's advice." I don't know where he's going with this and why the hell did he ask Elliot for advice?

"Anastasia Steele, will you be my girlfriend?" he whispers against my hair as he hugs me closer to him. My eyes widen and I think my heart just stopped beating completely. "Ana…?" he asks when I still remain silent.

"What happened? Is the flu making you crazy or something. This is not a funny joke, Christian," I say as I sit on the couch. I'm feeling a little bit light headed. I think I'm hallucinating. Did Christian just ask me to become his girlfriend?

"I am not joking. I told you. I had time to think some things through and I'm sorry I took too long. When Mia told me that that bastard came with you, I was so livid."

"I can see that," I giggle. Christian's face lights up and asks me, "So, what do you think Miss Steele? Will you go out with me? I'm only going to ask you out twice," he winks.

"Yes," I smile. "Yes. I'll be your girlfriend." Christian laughs triumphantly and I can't believe my eyes when he does a fist pump in the air. He picks me up from the couch and twirls me around the living room.

"So, does this still mean no sex?" I joke and he shakes his head and laughs.

"Yep. Still no sex." I pretend to pout.

"We are going to do this right this time," he says as he kisses me gently and pulls me in his arms where I feel like I can stay in for the rest of eternity.

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><p><strong>I did say to bring on the hate in my last chapter so, I won't be deleting any of the reviews since I do deserve it. Honestly, I didn't really think that it was a big deal since some of my friends lost their virginities to each other at this age. Most of the readers here are most likely older than me and has a clearer sense of what's right and what's wrong so, once again. I am so sorry for anyone who found that last chapter wrong and disturbing. I promise no more creepy thirteen year old sex. I hope you guys continue to read… if this story doesn't get taken down that is. Review or something... <strong>

**xoxo Jade V**


	6. His Past

Christian and I have been dating for a couple of months now and for now- only Mia, Elliot and Justin know about our relationship. Apparently, it was all Mia's scheme to purposely tell Christian that Justin was coming over at my place so he would stop sulking and talk to me already. Also, I found out that Mia wasn't legitimately trying to set me up with Justin. So when she found out that Justin actually started liking me and he forced himself on me, she was more livid than Christian.

It did work out for the best though. I am now dating my bestfriend that I have liked for over a year and as it turns out, Justin actually makes an interesting friend. He apologized to me repeatedly over the course of a month and asked for my friendship when I finally forgave him. I was really hesitant at first and Christian was obviously pissed, but Justin just has that innocent, baby face that you can't help but love.

Since then, Justin has been hanging out with us a lot and he has become part of our little group. Mia and I were pretty accepting of him, but Christian on the other hand… let's just say jealousy tendencies just don't disappear. Although, he did to start to warm up to him when we found out that it was a normal thing for Justin to change the person he likes every week.

Anyway, today marks the second month since I've started dating Christian and true to our word, he and I are abstaining from any more sexual activities. The last time I saw his penis was when I walked in on him again when I came to surprise him at his house. Although this time, instead of lingering my gaze on his erection, I just rolled my eyes and left the room giggling. He really needs to learn how to lock doors. Thank god I didn't ask Mia to get her brother for me. I don't think she'd appreciate seeing her brother's dong. Anyways, the farthest Christian and I have gone is making out while he gropes my ass. Besides that, he and I do a good job from keeping certain body parts from touching each other.

During these couple of months, Christian and I have grown closer to each other. Dating your bestfriend definitely has a lot of plus sides to it. Christian and I hardly fight, unless you count those times when he would get jealous. I think the worse argument we had was because of his jealousy over Elliot…

_I let go of Christian's hand and run up to Elliot and hug him. I haven't seen him in over two weeks because he went on a school trip overseas and I just really missed my big bro. He wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me up while giving me those death grip, bear hugs. _

"_Hey little lady. As much as I want to hang out with you guys… I have jet lag and I am ready for a long ass nap." I step back and Christian was by my side in a flash. He has a strong grip on my hand as he pulls me in his room. Elliot gives me a 'what the fuck' look as we pass by him. _

"_Christian? What's wrong?"_

"_I don't want you to be so touchy feely with Elliot anymore. I used to tolerate it, but now I can't," he says while glaring at me. What the hell- is he jealous over his own brother? I always thought that guys were cute when they get jealous, but this is just absurd. _

"_Are you being serious right now? I wasn't being 'touchy feely' with him, as you put it. This is Elliot we're talking about for christ's sake. Are you seriously getting jealous over your own brother? Oh and by the way- a guy that I treat like my own brother too?" He starts to pace across the room, his hands balled up into fists. _

"_Yes, Ana. I'm fucking jealous over my own god damn brother," he says through gritted teeth._

"_Seriously? What- do you think I'll just start liking him then? It was just a hug, Christian. A freaking hug," I say in exasperation. He stops pacing and closes his eyes whilst pinching the bridge of his nose. I can tell that he's exasperated too, but I couldn't give two craps right now. This wasn't the first time I've noticed him get jealous over Elliot and my other guy friends whenever I give them friendly hugs. Does he seriously think that every guy I come in contact with is a threat?_

"_It's not 'just a hug'. Nevermind. You don't understand," he sighs._

"_Oh no. You're not pulling this 'nevermind' crap on me. Make me understand. Tell me what's really bothering you." I get up and walk towards him until I'm right in front of him. I cup his cheeks and go on my toes to kiss him softly. He leans his forehead against mine and I have a feeling that we're getting into a heavy topic for him. _

"_I hate it…" he whispers softly. I almost didn't hear it even though he was right in front of me. "What do you hate?" I ask him. He tries to push away from me but my hands slide to his waist to lock us in place._

"_I hate how they can give you something that I can't. Why can't I hold you close to me like they can? You- You've given me all of you and I can't even give you a simple hug without fucking flinching or fucking panicking. How the fuck is it fair that even though I want you to touch me- you can't. You can't because my fucking phobia won't let me. Hell- I was even contemplating whether I should tie your hands behind your back while I took your virginity. How is that fucking fair to you?" he huffs and complains as he tears away from me. His back is turned and I see the rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathes heavily. I toss my head back and sigh heavily._

"_Christian… you shouldn't let this bother you. I know about your phobia and I respect your boundaries. I may not know what caused them-" his head snaps up at this and he turns to look at me. His piercing gray eyes continue to mesmerize me, but I snap out of my trance as he waits for me to continue. "I'm not holding this against you. Frankly, it has never bothered me before. I don't mind that you can't squeeze me to death with hugs. As long as we can do this." I lean up and kiss him. He freezes for a second and starts to kiss me back. I pull away and peck him one more time before I rest my cheek on his shoulder. "To be honest- I think kisses are better than hugs. So as long as I can continue to kiss your gorgeous lips, you don't have to worry about anything."_

"Helloooo… Earth to Ana?" I snap back from my flashback as Mia waves her hand in front of my face to get my attention. I mumble an apology and give my full attention to her.

"So… what do you think Christian is planning for you?" I twirl the locket that Christian gave me for my birthday as Mia plops beside me on my bed. I know what she's trying to do and it's not going to work.

"Like you don't already know. I'm pretty sure you're just trying to make me curious and excited. Just tell him to not go over the top." I roll my eyes at her. Christian has been hinting that he had a surprise for me for weeks. He knows me well enough to know that _one_- I hated surprises and _two_- I don't like over the top things. I'd much rather spend my time with him making out while watching a movie, but he went off some place saying he needed to set everything up and I should be ready to go out by tonight.

In the mean time, he sent Mia over to accompany me while I wait for this big surprise. Mia and I have the whole house to ourselves since dad is in Portland to visit an old friend and mom went to New York for a whole week. I'm not really sure what my mother does that requires so much travelling, but I've learned to not question it anymore since she doesn't actually provide any real answers.

"What do you want me to do first? Your hair or your makeup?" Mia chimes.

"I'll do her hair!" we hear a laugh behind us. Mia and I turn around and look at Justin with a '_what the hell' _look.

"What?" he mused.

"How the hell did you get in?" I ask him. This is beginning to be a huge problem. People are just walking in and out of my house. Hello people- it's called a doorbell. I hide the spare key in different places all the time now but I still wake up to Mia, Justin or Christian bouncing up and down my bed in the morning. It's happened so often that it's just a normal thing now.

"You suck at hiding stuff from me," he grins and stick his tongue out like a child. I swear I am surrounded by children. Mia is practically ready to turn me into her own life sized barbie doll.

"You can do hair?" Mia raises her perfectly shaped eyebrows at him.

"Uhuh. Living with three sisters has its perks." Justin starts combing through my hair and Mia immediately heads for my eyebrows and my make up. Two hours later my hair is flowing freely down my back and falls into soft curls, my makeup is light but is done to perfection. Mia went through my closet earlier and found a dress for me to wear tonight. I sigh in relief when she picks out a casual dress so I know Christian and I are not going anywhere fancy.

"You look gorgeous," Mia beams.

"I couldn't agree more," I hear Christian say behind me. Mia and Justin leave the room as Christian embraces me from behind. He leans in for a kiss so I turn my head so my lips met his.

"Hi," I smile. "I thought Elliot was going to pick me up?"

"Change of plans. Are you ready to go?" I nod my head and he takes my hand in his. We head downstairs and see Elliot with Justin and Mia. Christian leads me out the door and I laugh when I see them give me the thumbs up as I leave.

Before we enter the cab, Christian stops me. "I have a weird request," he says shuffling his feet. "What is it?" I ask him. He takes out a blindfold from his pocket and asks me if he can put it on me.

"Why the blindfold?"

"So it's a surprise. May I?"

"Okay," I smile up at him. I'm not really worried about losing my sight for a couple of minutes. To be honest, I'm just worried about smudging the makeup Mia put on me and then I have to spend the rest of the night looking like a Panda.

Christian steps behind me and ties the blindfold underneath my hair. The back of my neck tingles as his fingers touch it. He takes my hand and guides me into the cab. We start to move and I don't let go of Christian's hand until we come to a stop.

**CPov**

I am nervous as hell when we come to a full stop in front of my house. I pay the cab driver and help Ana get out of the car. I'm not really sure how Ana will react to what I have prepared for her. I lead her to the backyard and I should pat myself on the back as I take in the sight before me.

"Do I smell roses?" Ana asks sniffing the air. I grin and kiss her lips before I take off the blindfold. She slowly opens her eyes and gasps when she sees where we are. We are in the middle of Grace's rose garden where Elliot and I built a small wooden gazebo in the center. A thousand twinkling lights were dangled on the roof above us, on the railings and on the rose bushes.

The glow from the lights illuminated her flawless skin and how I long to kiss every inch of her, but there's something I must do before that. I just hope she'll accept me and let me touch her later on. "Is it too much?" I ask her.

"It's perfect… thank you," she giggles. I can no longer resist as I close the distance between us. I kiss her like it will be our last and it just might be. "Has this always been here?" she asks pointing at the gazebo.

"No. Elliot and I built it. Mostly Elliot but yeah…" I trail off.

"What do you know… Elliot might have a future after all," she laughs. When she realizes I wasn't laughing with her, she immediately asks me if I was okay.

"I'm fine. I just- I realized I should have done something… said something to you a long time ago. I never wanted to tell you because I never wanted you to leave me or stay away from me. I never wanted you to think badly of me." I take a few steps back away from her as I run my fingers through my hair nervously.

"What is it Christian? You're scaring me. Are you… Did I- did I do something wrong?" Her voice cracks and tears were threatening to stream down her face.

"What? Baby, no. You didn't do anything wrong. This is more about me." I close the space between us once again and hold her tight against me. Thankfully, she doesn't push me away and places her cheek on my chest.

I flinch and she must have noticed because she pulls away slightly and _I hate it_. I hate how Ana has given her everything to me and I can't even let her touch my chest. Even when she and I connected for the first time, I wanted to hold her arms to her sides so that she wouldn't be able to touch me. I hate how I crave her touch but at the same time, I can't bear it. This is why I'm doing this now. I should've done this a long time ago- the moment when I realized I wanted Anastasia for myself. I am doing this now so bit by bit, so I could give her all of me.

"I never imagined this night to go like this, but you have to know something about me," I start.

"What is it, Christian. You know you can tell me anything," she says, wiping the tears that managed to make its escape. "I know…" I turn so that my back was facing towards her and I hear her gasp as I take my shirt off and reveal other scars I've bared. The only scars that I have allowed Ana to see were the scars on my chest. This was the first time she has ever seen the scars on my back. I turn and see that there were fresh tears rolling down her face.

"No baby… please don't cry for me."

"There were more...? W- who did this to you? Uhm… I mean... sorry. You don't have to answer that if you don't want to." She stutters.

"But I want to. I have to." I wrap my hand around hers and take a deep breath. "You already know that the Greys adopted me when I was four." She gives a small nod.

I continue, "Before they adopted me, I lived with my birth mother and... her pimp." She gasps at this and her eyes were locked onto my scars. I take a shattered breath and I know my next words will be nothing but stuttered words.

"Every night different men would go in and out of our sorry excuse for an apartment. Most of them ignored me, but some of them didn't. I try to hide under the table, but they would _always _find me. Always… and w- when one of my mother's... _client _refused to pay, her p- pimp would always get m- mad. He was s… so mad… so _mad_…" I trail off and suddenly I am brought back to that dingy hell hole. I could hear the whipping sound that the belt would make and the… and the smell of smoke and burning flesh. _My burning flesh… _I hear someone call my name from a distance and it starts getting louder.

"_Christian… Christian! Please, baby. Come back to me. Open your eyes…_" and so I do.

I am pulled back into reality. Ana's blue eyes are wide and panicked and her eyes are glassy from her tears. She's begging me to stop. She begins to wipe my cheek and I'm surprised when I feel tears sliding down my own cheeks. She reaches for my hands which had a firm grasp on my hair. Somehow, we ended up on the floor and I take her in my arms and kiss her. I can taste the saltiness from her tears and my hands roam all over her body so that I know this is real. I know that I'm not hallucinating and Ana is real. She's here with me and I am no longer in hell. I tell her how he burned me and Ana hushes me and comforts me with a kiss.

She protests as I let her head and hand rest on my chest, but I tell her that this is what I want. I want to give her all of me little by little. We lay down on the cushions Elliot and I built in the gazebo and we stay like this for minutes just feeling the warm breeze and Ana's hand on my chest. I felt it burn for a minute before it felt like a slight electric buzz. This is Ana and she will never hurt me. I trust her with my everything and even though she knows about my fucked up past. She's still here with me. She hasn't left me… _yet. _

"If you think your past will make me leave you. You're wrong. What happened was not your fault. You are the still the same Christian and you're past doesn't change that," she says like she's read my mind. She looks up at me and gets up to straddle me. I sit up so that my lips meet hers and our tongues dance with one another until I hear Ana's stomach grumble. She pulls away with an embarrassed blush.

"Someone's hungry," I laugh as she smacks my arm playfully. "So am I. I didn't envision this night to go the way it did. I had planned on eating before we got to the hard stuff. And by the way, if you _ever _mention to Elliot that I cried, you won't be anywhere my lips anytime soon," I joke to lighten the mood. It seems to have worked when Ana giggles and I go to get the basket of food I prepared myself.

I am pretty proud of myself. I cooked this all by myself. I found the recipe for pasta on the internet and it was pretty easy to cook. How can someone fuck this up, right? I serve Ana and I a large portion of Pasta and I wait until Ana takes the first bite so I could see her reaction.

To my shock, her face turns sour as she starts coughing. "Who in the world cooked this? You might need to fire them immediately. I feel like I just ate a drum of salt," she says as she chugs her water.

"It can't be that bad..." I take a bite from my own plate and holy shit. What the fuck is this Shit? "Throw it out. Let's just order pizza. I can't cook for shit!" I grumble the last part under my breath.

"Wait- you cooked this?" I nod and bow my head in shame. Ana starts laughing as she literally rolls on the floor, clutching her stomach while tears escaped from the corner of her eyes. I stare at her dumbfounded before I find myself laughing along with her. She apologizes repeatedly after thinking she has hurt my feeling, but I wave it off and tell her that my food did taste like shit.

The night continues like this. As cheesy as it sounds, we sat under the sky and watched the stars while we sat and talked about everything. At one point, Ana fell asleep and she was snuggled beside me while her hand rested on my chest. I place my hand over hers and trace the scar that she got because of me. There was still a slight buzz from where she was touching me, but now that I think about it, it has always been there when I'm with Ana or whenever she's in the same room as me.

I call Elliot so he and Mia can go back home and Elliot can give Ana a ride back. I wake her up and kiss her goodbye as she leaves with Elliot.

"Call me when you get home?" She nods and I kiss her one last time before I close the front door behind me. I turn and see Mia with a shit eating grin.

"What?" I ask her.

"You have lipstick on your face. Just right here-" she points to the corner of her own mouth and I quickly wipe my own. My hand stop mid wipe when I realize that she was just fucking with me since Ana didn't wear lipstick tonight.

"Very funny, Mia," I say shaking my head.

"Just playing with you, big bro. How did the date go? Did she like the gazebo? What happened?" She starts firing off question left and right at a rapid pace. _Sorry lil' sis. I don't kiss and tell, _I think to myself. I ignore her endless questions and head upstairs while Mia continues to beg me for details.

I take a quick shower and lie on my bed as I wait for her call since it is a thirty minute drive from my place to hers. I decide to go back downstairs and I stop at the middle of the staircase as I hear the front door open and Elliot asking for food from Mia. Why hasn't she called me yet?

"Did you see Ana get in her house when you dropped her off?" I ask Elliot as soon as I saw him. He takes a bite off of a cupcake before he answers me.

"Pree sure. Carla was outside waiting for her. I reminded her to call you. Why? Didn't she call-" I don't even let Elliot finish his sentence when I leave the room and dial Ana's number. I was about to press call when mine starts to ring. I look at the caller I.D. and sigh in relief to see Ana's name.

"Hey baby. I thought y-"

"Christian?" A deep voice goes through. Shit. It's Ana's dad and he practically just heard me call his daughter _baby. _Fuck me. I clear my throat before I speak again.

"Good evening, Ray. How are you?"

"Not good and don't you think I didn't hear you call my daughter 'baby'. I'll deal with you later. Ana ran away and if she contacts you, please call me."

"What? Why- what happened?" I ask frantically. Ana's all alone in the streets at night. Why the fuck would she do that? I hear yelling in the background and I know it's Carla's voice.

"This wouldn't have fucking happened if it wasn't for you, bitch. So shut the fuck up and leave my fucking house!" I hear Ray yell at Carla from the other line. I've never heard Ray use profanities that much before and my blood starts to boil when I soon realize that Carla is the reason why Ana disappeared.

"Sorry about that," Ray apologizes when he gets back on the line.

"I'll ask Elliot to drop me off there. I'll help you look for her." I feel a hand on my shoulder and I turn to see Grace and Carrick.

"No. Chances are, she'll go back there to you. Don't leave the house. Your mom and dad already know what happened and they'll help me look for Ana." Ray hangs up and Carrick leaves me with Grace. She's trying to reassure me that Ana will be alright, but she doesn't know that. She's all fucking alone. She can get raped or killed for christ's sake.

Grace leaves the room to take a call while Elliot and Mia go to bed completely oblivious to the current situation. Grace comes back and leaves to take care of an emergency at the hospital. She kisses me on the cheek before she leaves and reminds me to stay at home and to not look for Ana. I bury my face in my hands and groan.

_Ana. Where the fuck are you?_

I walk by the window and wait. Waiting for Ray's call or for Ana to appear before me. Five minutes… thirty minutes… one hour… It starts raining and now I'm even more agitated. I was about to leave and look for her myself when I look through the window again. I drop all of my shit and ran into the rain.

* * *

><p><strong>3rd Person<strong>

The whole world just came crashing down. Silent tears were camouflaged by the rain as she walked mindlessly through the streets of Seattle. A few strangers tried to stop her and ask if she was okay, but she continued walking. She felt like she walked for hours. She was dead tired and her knees were about to give out when someone caught her. Looking up, she hoped to see that Christian magically appeared, but it was just a cab driver.

"Can you please take me somewhere?" she asks. The cab driver knew she had no money to pay for the fair, but he still took her to where she wanted to be. By the time they reached Christian's house, she was all cried out and she was both physically and mentally exhausted.

She punched in the access code to the gates and walked in. Ray was probably worried about her already and she needed to get somewhere dry. The front doors busted open before she could even walk half way and then she was enveloped by a pair of strong arms.

"Baby- everyone's been looking for you," he whispered against her wet hair. He felt warm against her and she hugged him even tighter. "Let's get you out of this rain, okay?"

Ana was on autopilot and Christian was starting to worry. She hasn't said a word to him and he could see that her eyes were red from crying. It took all of his patience to not run out in the rain and find her himself when Ray called and told him that Ana was missing.

They both undressed in silence and he stepped out down the hallway to call Ray. As soon as Christian disconnected the call, he hears something crash in his bedroom and he bolts inside.

His coffee mug was in a million pieces, but he didn't care about that. Ana was crouched down to clean the mess and tears were now freely flowing down her face. "Christian, I'm sorry. I… I wasn't looking. I-I'm so sor-" she couldn't even finish her sentence when her body shook with sadness.

Christian did the only thing he could think of. He wrapped his arms around her tiny frame and cradled her on the floor. Rocking her back and forth whispering sweet nothings against her hair.

Minutes flew by and she had stopped shuddering. "They're getting a divorce."

He wasn't surprised and neither was she. But she refused to believe that her family was breaking apart even though it already had years ago. It started with the fighting and the yelling when she was three. Then, they no longer slept it the same room. It went on for years and it all stopped when Ana was rushed to the hospital that day she met the Greys.

The constant fighting stopped and she truly thought she was finally getting her family back. But she wasn't. The love they both had for each other was gone forever and her family will never be the way it was again. She has known that her parents will soon separate but she continues to ignore the obvious. Hell- everyone knew it was the end for both of them. They were heading towards the inevitable, but it was only now that Ana's eyes were opened to everything. The conversation she had with her mother a few hours ago was her wake up call.

"She was cheating on Ray," she says moments later after she had managed to control her sobs. His eyes widen at this.

"Ray knew and now they're getting a divorce. Carla introduced me to my soon- to- be stepfather and she wants me to be her bridesmaid," she snorts. Her tone was cold and detached and he was worried she might get some sort of mental breakdown. It felt like a stab to his chest knowing that the person he liked… _loved, _was in this much pain. He gets up and carries her in his arms and places her on his bed. They lie facing each other while his hand wipes the tears that continued to fall.

"I won't let you go through this alone," he whispered, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

"Thank you," she mouths. She moves closer so that her lips could touch his and then he pulls her into his arms so that her upper body was resting on him. Christian starts to softly sing, lulling her to sleep. She listens to his beautiful voice and eventually, she falls asleep in his arms.

* * *

><p><strong>Little correction from the last chapter… Ana turned 14 not 1312. So Ana and Christian are both 14. I think you guys can already guess what will be happening in the near future. Things will really start hitting the fan… ceiling (I dunno). Something you guys should know about me… I LOVE drama and all that shiz so expect for a shit ton of drama for the next ten chapters- give or take. **

**So, I hit 100 followers. Didn't think that would happen so yeah. Really happy with that. Thanks for following/ reviewing/ favoriting and all that good stuff.**

**xoxo Jade V**


	7. Husband 3 Part 1

It's been three months. Three months since the divorce was finalized. Three months since she moved in with Carla. Three months of utter hell.

She has cried enough tears enough to fill up an entire olympic sized swimming pool in the first few months. It got better once she realized that Ray was happier after their divorce and she was truly happy for her father. Although their happiness was short lived when the divorce meant she could no longer live with Ray permanently. Carrick and Ray fought hard but in the end, Carla got custody over her. She was just thankful she managed to convince her mother to not move across the country and stay here in Seattle.

It has been hell for the past couple of months, but she got through it. Just as promised, Christian never let her go through any of it alone. He was by her side the entire time and was patient with her when she pushed him away.

Her relationship with Christian is known to the public now. It's not just Mia, Justin and Elliot who know anymore. As soon as they gave Mia the go signal, she immediately texted every one of her friends that had a crush on Christian or Ana that they were both finally dating each other. Emphasizing on the word 'finally'.

The next day, the entire school knew about their relationship and most of the people congratulated them. Most of them had been waiting for these two to realize their feeling for one another. Even Grace, Ray and Carrick knew it was only a matter of time. But of course, Ray still acted like the overprotective father and gave Christian the 'if you ever hurt my daughter...' talk. She tried hard to bite back the laughter seeing Christian's face lose its color, turning white as a sheet. Even Christian's own father lectured him about taking care of Ana. Grace on the other hand cooked a feast as soon as she found out about Christian and Ana.

A lot of this has happened in the past few months. Carla and Ana moved in an apartment with Carla's lover- much to Ana's dismay. At least she got her own room and Christian was allowed to come over whenever he wanted. What else was happening? Oh yes. Her mother is getting married today. Great. Super.

"You know you don't have to do this, right? Elliot and I can always steal you and you can make a run for it. I'm sure Ray wouldn't mind."

"Yes, I'm sure my father won't mind. But my mother will. As much as I want to hate her for the things she has done, she is still my mother. Plus, I really want to be here." She stops the vomit that goes up her throat as she says the last sentence. Of course, Christian knew her too well and raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow at her lie.

"Don't even try to lie to me, Anastasia. We both know you don't want to be anywhere near this wedding. The only thing that's preventing you from ditching this wedding is that you're too kind hearted."

"Is that such a bad thing?" she pouts.

"Nope. It's one of the things I love about you," he smiles at her. There's that word again. _Love. _She flinches every time he uses that word when he talks to her. Every time he says that word, it made her feel guilty. After everything that has happened to her parents, she felt like love was now just a waste of time.

Her parents were so in love with each other in the past- or so she thought. She thought they were going to last forever. They were the couple she looked up to thinking that someday, she would have a love like Ray and Carla did. She used to think that they were each other's happily ever afters. She was too naive. Their love didn't last. So she thought, if they couldn't love each other till the end, where will her relationship with Christian stand in the next few years? Will they separate and become strangers like her parents have become to each other...

And that's when it her. Love is not forever. Christian and her… they won't be forever. And they were only wasting their time staying together. What's the point if it's not permanent?

"Christian, I need to tell you something." _Crap_- she could already feel her eyes fill with tears, but she needed to go through this because she knew she was no longer being fair to him.

"I need to tell you something too. I've wanted to say this to you for a couple of months now, but I couldn't find the right timing. Oh sorry, I interrupted you. You can go ahead first," he rushes out excitedly. I open my mouth to speak but he quickly stops me.

"I love you." They both stare at each other with shock. He inwardly slaps himself with his sudden outburst. She continues to gape at him as he takes in her reaction. The lack of words from her usually smart mouth was worrying him.

"Ana. Please say something," he begs her after minutes of silence. A lone tear escapes her eye and his next words felt like spikes clawing up his throat. "You're breaking up with me…"

She didn't have to say anything. He already knew. "Why? Why now?" he chokes, but she remains silent.

"Ana, please don't do this," he begs her. "What did I do wrong?" He thought back to the last few months. Was he not supportive enough? Did he somehow make her feel lonely?

"You did nothing wrong. You've been perfect, but I have been unfair to you."

"Do you like someone else? Is that it? Is there someone else?" He could feel his anger surfacing.

"There's no one else. I swear," she rushes out. The last thing she wanted him to feel was that he was being replaced. "Just leave. Please, Christian."

"No, Ana. You don't get to push me away without an explanation," he reasons with her. She opens her mouth to speak but Carla interrupts as she knocks on Ana's door.

"Is everything alright in here?" Carla asks as her head peeks behind the door. Ana quickly turns to wipe her tears while Christian didn't bother to hide his own.

"Everything is fine mom," Ana snaps. "Christian was just about to leave."

With a final nod, Christian gets up and takes Ana in his arms. He couldn't care less that there was an audience or the fact that this girl just shattered his heart. "I'm not giving up on you. I love you, Anastasia Steele."

Carla follows the boy's movements as he takes her daughter in his arms and whispers something that makes her daughter stop breathing altogether. She wasn't completely stupid and she knew what was happening before she interrupted. She wasn't proud of it, but she was eavesdropping on her own daughter and heard the last part of their conversation. The only thing she regrets that she didn't interrupt the two sooner. She knew that her daughter was making a huge mistake breaking up with this boy and she knew exactly why she was doing it. It was time to have a little talk with her daughter for the first time in years.

As soon as the boy had left she started, "Why in heavens did you break up with that boy?"

Ana's eyes widen at her mother's sudden interest in her life. "Very subtle, mom. Can we not talk about this, please? Today is your day. In fact, shouldn't you be getting ready for your perfect wedding?" She tries to steer the conversation away from the topic but Carla was having none of it.

"I don't think my wedding will be perfect unless the bridesmaid is happy."

"No offence, mom. But, why do you care?" Ana was getting annoyed with her. Why does she choose now to care about her daughter? Carla takes in a lung full of air to calm herself. She couldn't blame the child for feeling this way and she knew it was all her fault.

"Honey. I'm obviously not the best mother in the world. It's been years since I've had an actual conversation with my own daughter let alone bond with you. But believe it or not, I still care about you and you are not going to let go of that boy because of what happened to Ray and I."

"I didn't break up with him because of your divorce," she lies. Ana just wanted this conversation between her and Carla to be end. She picks now to be the caring mother that she needed years ago.

"You don't have to lie to me, Annie. I know what you're going through because I went through the same thing when I was your age and I can't believe that I'm making you go through what that woman made me go through," Carla sighs. She was digging into the past that she wanted to forget but her daughter needed to hear this. Ana stares at her mother in confusion and silently urges her to continue.

"My mother… your grandmother. She was married to seven men by the time I turned eighteen. Seeing her hop from husband to husband obviously left a really deep impression on me," she chuckles. "She left my father for another man and I had to go with her. I thought that they were going to last, but they didn't. So I started questioning love and happy endings. Did they even exist?" she pauses. Ana was shocked. Never in a million years did she ever think that her mother would understand what she felt.

She took a deep breath before she continued. "Then I decided to just give up on love entirely… until I met your father. Your father changed the way I saw love. When I told him that love was nothing but danger, he told me to see it as an adventure. When I told him that love has its ending, he told me that there will always be a new beginning and that love was everlasting. After he died, I carried his words with me. I guess I'm just trying to look for a new beginning, but I will never forget him." She clears the lump in her throat and places her hand above her daughter's.

"I will always love Ray. Just like how I will always love your father. But Ray and I… we were not meant to be and I have to apologize that I'm making you go through what my mother made me go through. I don't want you to feel like love has an ending. That boy, Christian. He loves you so much. I have always rooted for you two ever since you two met. Don't give up on love because heaven forbid I let you end up like me or your grandmother because that would be terrible," she laughs. For the first time ever, Ana laughed with her mother and she felt like their bond was slowly repairing itself. She was glad that she had this conversation with her mother. Her mind was now clear as crystal and now all she needs to do is to figure out how to fix the situation she made. But before that, she had a wedding to attend to.

"C'mon mom. Let's get you dolled up for your wedding," she says grabbing her mother's hand.

"Wait- what about the boy?"

"It's your day today, mom. We have to get pedicures and manicures and Christian will just have to wait," she smiles. She was feeling a little bit better about this wedding after their conversation. She understood why Carla did what she did and if she was looking for her happy ending, Ana would fully support her.

* * *

><p>Stephen Morton, Carla's husband, was wealthy and invited all of his business associates while Carla just needed her daughter by her side. Stephen wasn't Grey wealthy, but he had enough to make an impression. The wedding was simple yet elegant with a large number of guests.<p>

Ana now sat watching her mother dance with her new stepfather. Things were still awkward between them since they've barely said five sentences to each other since they met. The song ends and Stephen starts walking towards Ana. She shrinks in her seat as he approaches her.

"Care to dance with your new stepfather?" He stretches his hand for her to take but she doesn't move an inch. Something about him terrified her, but that something she could not place. Ana tilts her head to the side and sees her mother dancing with someone else.

"I'm sure my mother would like another dance with you," she says as he puts his hand in his pocket, balling up into fists. Ana saw a glint of anger in his eyes before it disappeared. "Why don't you humor your old man?" _My old man, _she scoffs at that. She tries hard not to roll her eyes at her new stepfather. She didn't want her distaste for him to be that obvious. She might've been okay with her mother finding love, but that doesn't mean she had to like the man completely.

"I'm sorry, but I am tired from the wedding and everything. Plus, Ray will be here in a few minutes so you and mom can have a wonderful night alone." Right on cue, Ana's phone rings alerting her of Ray's arrival. Ana walks across the dance floor and kisses her mom on the cheek and offering Stephen a friendly nod before she left with Ray.

"How was the wedding?" Ray asks as they head home.

"Exhausting and completely boring," she replies. It was almost one in the morning and she doubted that Christian would still be awake. The venue of the wedding was far from Ray's house so she took this time text Christian. He'll get the message in the morning and they could talk then.

"So, how are you and Christian?" she eyes her father suspiciously. She knows he knows something. Hoping Ray would drop it, she tells him nothing was wrong. Ray of course took the hint and didn't push her. The only reason why he decided to bring this up was because Christian came to him and asked him if Ana was acting weirder than usual. He could tell he had been crying and there would only one reason why he would be.

They finally get to Ray's house and Ana goes to her room. She was dead tired and all she wanted was to sleep the day away. She locks the door behind her and unzips her strapless dress. She suddenly felt a current go through her body. She turns the light on and pivots to see Christian on her bed. She screams in surprise and she could hear footsteps running up the stairs.

She stares at him in shock as she tries to cover herself up which was sort of pointless since Christian has already seen her naked before. The atmosphere changes between them as Christian gets up and walks towards her slowly. His eyes were hooded and his clear gray eyes turned into a darker shade. Ana couldn't look away and neither could he.

"Ana," he breathes.

"What are you doing here? It's late," she says pointing out the obvious. A frantic knock breaks their gaze. "Ana! Are you okay?" Ray asks through the locked door.

"Yes, dad. I thought I saw a spider," she calls out. She lifts her finger up against her lips signaling Christian to be quiet.

"Oh okay, honey. Also, if Christian wants to stay over, tell him that he can crash on the couch downstairs." Ray leaves laughing and goes in his own room leaving Ana shocked and confused. He knew that Christian was in her room the entire time and he didn't even say anything the entire ride home.

"Ray let me in. I got your text and I couldn't sleep," he explains as soon as they were sure Ray was out of earshot.

"Look, if this is about breaking up… Fuck, Ana. I love you so fucking much. I used to think I wasn't capable of loving because of my touching issues, but you. You are so special to me and I…" he rips his shirt open and buttons are flying left and right. He takes her hand and places it on his chest. Just like before, he felt no more pain. Just love for this one girl. "I love you Anastasia," he whispers.

She looked into his eyes and saw passion, love and sadness. Like hers, his eyes were also rimmed with unshed tears.

"I love you too," she whispers almost too quietly, but he heard her loud and clear. She hadn't planned on saying this, but it just felt right. Their love felt right. She leans in to kiss each of the scars on his chest before she kisses his lips. He moans against her mouth as his tongue dances with hers while his hands roamed along every inch of her body.

"Let's go downstairs before my dad busts in here and find you making out with her half naked daughter," she smiles. She pulls on a shirt that Christian owned and they walk hand in hand downstairs. Ana makes him a makeshift bed and they spend the rest of the night cuddled up and sneaking kisses here and there. "I love you. I don't think I'll ever tire of telling you this," he tells her.

"Good. And I love you too," she mumbled sleepily. Christian kisses her one last time before closing his eyes and sleeps next to her.

It's been a week since the wedding. Today was one of those days when Ana decided to hang around the Grey residence after school. Ana has been extra busy because graduation was a few months away. Mia and Ana went dress shopping and after a long day of not finding anything, they just decided to go next week and just hang out with Christian at home.

"Will you be staying for dinner, Ana?" Grace asks.

"I'm good. It's getting dark anyway. I should go." Ana gets up to leave and hugs Mia goodbye.

"I'll walk you to the door," Christian says, jumping out of his seat. "Be safe. Love you," he leans in to kiss her softly on her lips.

"Love you too."

Ana got home and texted Christian that she arrived safely to her house before she entered. She unlocks the door and the smell of alcohol hits her like a flying boulder. The living room was dark and she enters the house to turn the lights on.

"Where the fuck have you been?" She spins on her heels and clutches to her chest.

"Stephen. Hi. You scared me there. Where's mom?" she laughs nervously.

"You didn't answer me, bitch. Where the fuck were you?" He slurred. He was heavily drunk and Ana was cornered. She always thought that Stephen was terrifying, but he wouldn't dare do anything, right? Stephen grabs her arms and yanks her towards him.

"Let go of me! You're hurting me!" she screamed in his ear.

"Shut the fuck up you little bitch." Ana watches him as he raises his hand and it lands heavily on her cheek. He shoves her down the cool tile, but picks her up once again by her hair. He leans in so that his mouth was pressed against her ear. "Listen here, brat. If you tell your slut of a mother what I did to you, I will make sure your or your mother won't get to live to see tomorrow. Understand?" he threatens. Ana nods her head frantically. Stephen releases her and Ana moved fast and ran to her room as fast as possible. She locked the door behind her and collapsed against the wall. She pulled her knees up to her chest and sobbed. She had no idea what just happened, but she was sure that Stephen was not the man her mother thought he was.

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><p><strong>Eyyy update and drama!<strong>

**Hope you guys liked this chapter. Leave a review. Good reviews… Bad reviews… Meh reviews. Your choice! **

**xoxo JadeV**

**I think it's a little bit too late but… I don't own Fifty Shades of Grey or any of the original characters in the book. **


	8. Husband 3 Part 2

**Part 2 of Husband #3. Might get mixed reviews for this one.**

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><p>"Mom, I need to talk to you." Ana and Carla were having breakfast early in the morning. She was playing with her necklace nervously as she contemplates whether she should tell her mother or not. This was her fifth time trying to tell her mother about Stephen, but every time she does, she either chickens out or Stephen walks in.<p>

Her bruises from Stephen's assault left a deep shade of purple on her jaw and it was slowly fading into a disgusting shade of green. Terrified that he would go on with his threat, she kept her mouth shut and told the people who asked that she fell down the stairs. Ana was clumsy by nature and it wasn't hard to believe.

"Should I be worried? You're not pregnant are you? I'm too young to be a grandmother so don't you dare," Carla jokes.

Ana clears her throat before speaking. "It's about my bruises," she murmurs quietly.

"Why? Do they still hurt? Ray is going to murder me if he finds out I'm not taking care of you." She stands to examine her daughter's face and arms.

"Who's not taking care of who?" Ana freezes on the spot as Stephen walks in.

"Are these fresh bruises?" Carla turns Ana's arms over and gasps as she sees five new bruises.

"No. They're old." Ana tries to avoid Stephen's gaze but she could still feel him boring a hole at the back of her skull.

"Then why do they look like they're new?" _Because they are, _Ana thought. After Stephen slapped her that night, there were small repeats the days after. It would be a small shove or when she came home from school, he would grab her and push her out of his way. Ana was scared someone would know so she hid her arms with a sweater. She was so terrified of what he would do, she couldn't even tell Christian.

" You should be really careful about your actions Anastasia." His tone was cold and she could hear the threat in his voice. "We don't want you falling again," Stephen continues.

"Aren't you going to be late for school? Maybe Stephen could drive you."

"No! I mean- no thank you. Elliot's outside already. Bye."

"Don't forget your lunch," Stephen calls out. She backs away to stay an arms length away from him but he yanks her arm so that his frame was covering Carla's view. To her it just looked like he was giving Ana a friendly hug though it was anything but that.

"Be careful of the things you say about me," he snarls in her ear. Ana couldn't get away fast enough. Half running and half walking, she rushed to Elliot's car just in time to turn and see Stephen slam the door.

"Hey little lady. Are you in a rush?" Elliot asks. She sees that Christian's usual spot next to her was empty.

"Christian had rowing practice. Ana, are you alright? You look shaken."

"I'm fine. I'm just a little cold," she lies.

They day went by fast and she couldn't concentrate on anything. Not even literature, her favorite subject, could distract her. She barely saw Christian or Mia today since Mia was a part of some school production and Christian was busy with the rowing team the school just put together. Before she knew it, the day was over and she was scared to go home.

Carla was going to be out later than usual since she had to make up for the time she spent during her honeymoon which meant Ana was home alone with Stephen. She had no choice but to go home because she would only get into trouble if she did anything else. Her stomach dropped as they approach her house. They stop out front and Ana had a déjà vu moment when she sees all the lights were off.

She enters the house and the stench of alcohol fills her nose again. The house was completely dark and she couldn't see past ten feet. It feels like it's happening all over again. Even though Elliot was long gone, she turns to leave but a strong pair of hands takes her from behind and pins her to the floor. Stephen kicks the door shut so none of the neighbors could hear him or most importantly, no one could hear Ana.

"You dare telling Carla that I slapped you. You little prick. I warned you, but it doesn't matter since I've got your mom wrapped around my finger. She's so blinded with my money that she can't even see how terrified you are of me. Let me just tell you something. I live for your fear." He runs his nose along Ana's neck and collarbone. Her vision blurred with tears and she screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Someone help me! PLEASE!" she cried. Stephen silences her with a hard slap.

"Little shits like you need to be punished and I know the best punishment for you." She tries to move her hands but they were pinned above her head. His weight was preventing any movement. She couldn't escape. No one could save her now.

* * *

><p>Five hours later…<p>

"What do you mean she's gone?! Carla, where the hell is my daughter?!" Ray yells. A few nurses stares at him and one of the security guards almost approaches him when Grace and Carrick arrive.

"I don't know where she is. I came home and Stephen was out cold. Someone smashed a bottle on his head and I can't get in contact with Ana. I thought she would be at Christian's or something, but she's not there too. What if she was kidnapped?" Carla sobs.

Carla came home to an unconscious Stephen and a missing Ana. Why was this happening to her family? Was karma finally getting to her after her infidelity and practically ignoring her child? She immediately called the police and they say there might've been a break in. The neighbors didn't hear anything since their house was sound proof. They couldn't question Stephen since he was still out cold and they have to wait twenty four hours before Ana could be deemed missing and the search for her could begin.

A doctor approaches her and tell her Stephen is awake. She thanks the doctor and rushes in her husband's room. "Stephen, what happened?" Carla asks a groggy Stephen. He could only let out a pained moan. She hears a commotion outside and she stands up to close the door when Grace runs in and informs her that Ana was just brought in by an ambulance.

"I'll be right back. They found Ana." Stephen wanted to grab her hand and make her stay with him, but he could barely move his arms. Ana was in the hospital and he knew that he was a dead man. That girl was just such a prick tease that he couldn't resist, but that doesn't matter now. He is finished if that girl talks. He was just hoping that the little snot was unconscious and he could gather up enough energy to threaten her again once everyone has left.

Two doors down, Ana was being taken care of several nurses and Grace. She has more bruises now and she was covered in dirt as if she was dragged around. Her eyes were lifeless and she remained mute. Ray and Carla held Ana's hand as the doctors examined her and tested her for any sexual assaults.

"If you don't mind, I need to ask your daughter a few questions." One of the officers pipes up as soon as the nurses left.

"Actually, we do mind. Can't you see that my daughter is in no state to talk?!" Ray snaps at him. The officer mumbles an apology.

"Wait," all the people in the room stops and stares at Ana. Carla sighed in relief as Ana finally says something.

"I'm ready to talk."

"What happened tonight at your house, Ana?" the officer asks. Ana stares at the officer with emotionless eyes. The eyes that once held a vibrant shade of blue was now empty, lifeless and dull.

"My stepdad and I were talking when someone comes up behind him out of nowhere and smashes a beer bottle on his head. He tried to come after me next and I tried to run away. I was close to the door when he grabs me from behind and pins me to the floor. He was touching me everywhere and I tried to scream for help. He hits me and everything goes dark. I don't know what happened next but I woke up in an alley. I was so tired I couldn't get up and that's when someone found me and called the ambulance," Ana says never once breaking eye contact with the officer. Her tone remained level and unwavering. She tried to cry, but she was all cried out. She had no tears left to flow out.

The officer felt bad for the child and decided to question Mr. Morton instead. He bumps into a man that was heading out of the room. Carla enters Stephen's room with him and find Mr. Morton white as a sheet.

"Oh darling. Are you feeling okay? You're looking a little bit pale."

"I'm fine," Stephen gulps nervously.

"Mr. Morton. Do you remember anything from what happened?" the officer asks.

"I don't know. My stepdaughter and I were just talking and then someone hits me from behind. Next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital." Stephen broke in a nervous sweat. He's just hoping that the officer believes in their story. The officer nods and thanks Stephen for his cooperation.

The next morning, Ana wakes up and sees Christian sitting next to her bed. He sits up and takes her hand and kisses it gently.

"Morning," he murmurs, standing up and kissing her lips. She pulls away slightly, but not enough that he would notice. They were alone in the room as the adults left to freshen up after staying a night in the hospital.

"Did you sleep here?" Ana asks, her voice still thick with sleep.

"Yeah. I ran here as soon as I got home and Elliot told me what happened. I can't believe I almost lost you," he whispers. Ana lifted the sheet up and patted the space next to her for Christian to get in. He carefully places himself beside her and took her in his arms so that Ana was sitting on his lap.

"I was so scared," Ana whimpers as her tears start spilling.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't be here in time. I'm right here, you don't have to be scared anymore. I won't leave you," Christian promises.

* * *

><p><strong>Left a lot of missing scenes on purpose and all will be answered as the story progresses. This was a very short chapter, but I didn't want to get into too much detail. So do tell me guys, is my story a piece of shit or nah? Tell me by leaving me a review or PM me or something. Also, many people have asked me this so yes- this story will be an HEA. If you have anymore questions regarding this chapter, ask ahead. I'll probs answer them in the next chapter.<strong>

**Anyway- HAPPY HOLIDAYS! My family has no plans this Christmas so I'm just going to be stuck in my room writing and probs eating a microwavable dinner. I hope you guys have a better Christmas eve/ Christmas day than I will. **

**xoxo JadeV**


	9. Secret Caller

**Okay. So you guys were wondering if she was raped or why she would lie to the officer when she was asked. This was what I was talking about when I said I purposely incorporated missing scenes. To answer one of your questions, Ana was sexually harassed. There was no penetration involved. It didn't get that far. It was supposed to be some sort of reveal in later chapters, but what the hell. The readers get what the readers want. **

**Also, this chapter will only bring more questions. I did mention something in the summary thingy that something happens. So you guys know it was only a matter of time before this happened. I would also like to apologize to the people who say that my story is not as different as the other fanfics here. I try, I** _**really **_**do. But yenno, great minds think alike. Haha jk. You'd think this being my first fanfic I'd be able to come up with more original ideas. *sigh***

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><p>"Carla, where is that husband of yours? I thought we'd be able to see him again today." Grace steps to the side to let Ana and Carla in. Ana stiffens at the mention of his stepfather's name, but it wasn't obvious enough for any of them to notice.<p>

"That's what I thought too. Apparently, one of his employees, well former employee, managed to steal from him. Since his main office was in New York, he had to fly there a week ago and handle the situation," Carla says shaking her head.

"What a shame. I hope they catch whoever they are. He deserves a break after everything that has happened to him. Which brings me to you darling. How are you feeling?" Grace turns to Ana.

Ana manages to give her a slight smile before answering, "Quite fine actually." _Even better since Stephen isn't here, _she thought.

"That's good, dear. It looks like your bruises are healing quite nicely too." Grace couldn't help but inspect her bruises. It pained her to see Ana lying on that hospital bed as much as it did Carla.

She almost had a heart attack when she was wheeled in by the ambulance. She feared for the worse when she saw her battered and bruised, but thank god the rape test they took tested negative. She treated this girl like her own daughter and she has been a part of the family as soon as she step foot in her house. Ana was heaven sent for the entire Grey family. Ever since Ana arrived in their lives, she saw a change in Christian she knew that only Ana was responsible for.

"Ana? Ana." Her head snapped at Carla's direction.

"Sorry, I blanked out for a second. What is it?"

"Your phone is ringing." Only then did she notice the vibrations from her front pocket and the ringtone she only used for Christian.

"Tell Christian we're leaving for the restaurant in a few minutes," Grace calls out as Ana excuses herself to take the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey, baby." She could hear his grin through the phone.

"Where are you? Are you not in the house."

"Nope. Come outside to the gazebo." She hangs up and follows his instructions. The pathway was covered in rose petals because it has been quite windy over the past couple of days. Either that or Christian decided to pick every single rose and de-petalized them just to be romantic.

The sun was just about to set and turned the sky orange. His back was turned, but he knew she was already behind him. He knew because he could feel that electric crackle in the air whenever she was near and she could feel it too. He turns and it never fails to amaze her how lucky she was to be with this breath taking boy, but she could feel that everything was about to change soon.

"Hi." He pushes her hair to one shoulder and plants a kiss on her neck before kissing her sweetly on her lips.

"Why d'you bring me here? You're not proposing are you?" She laughs.

"No- not yet." Her laughter stops and stares at him. She didn't know what to say.

"Kidding Ana. I was joking."

"Oh… haha," she laughs half heartedly. "C'mon, your mom said we're just about ready to leave," she says changing the subject. She couldn't bare to be alone with him. The proposing thing spooked her out and made her guilt deeper. Just when they were about to enter, Ana halts and pulls Christian's face close to hers. She smashes her lips against Christian's and it takes a few seconds before he responds. He was shocked that Ana initiated a kiss. They finally pull away when Mia taps on the glass door and pretends to puke.

"You know I love you, right?" Ana asks. Christian nods and kisses her once again before they go back in the house.

"Where is that father of yours?" Carla asks as soon as they walked in. Ana shrugs her shoulders and Carla lets out an exasperated sigh as she fishes out her phone to call Ray. Ever since they got divorced, in some ways, Carla and Ray's relationship got better. Not _I'm in love with you again _better, but on a friendlier level. They still fought when it came to Ana, but they learned how to forgive each other.

Sipping on the shake Grace put in front of her, they conversed for a few minutes before Carla comes back and tells them that Ray will meet them in the restaurant. Ray had no idea, but they planned on celebrating Ray's new wood shop. He quit his old job and opened up a shop in Seattle since he was always a hands on kind of man.

They enter the italian restaurant knowing that Ray loves italian. Ray arrives a few moments later. "Now will anyone tell me why I needed to be here in such a short notice?" Ray asks.

"Sit down and celebrate with us!" Grace smiles. Ray has a confused look on his face before Grace explains this was a celebration for his new business and gives him an envelope. Ana couldn't see what it was, but it must have been good since Ray was barely keeping his emotions in check.

"This is too much," he says clearing his throat.

"Nonsense. After everything you have done for us. It's the least Carrick and I can do," Grace grins and kisses him on the cheek.

The night goes on with easy conversation. The food was served and by the fifth course, Ana couldn't eat anymore. Christian was never one to waste food and scolded her when she didn't all of the food on her plate. Ana was about to give him a smart ass comment when her phone starts ringing.

"Dearie, who in the world keeps on calling you? You've been on your phone non stop all week. You better not be going past your limit or you'll have to do something to make it up to me."

"Sorry mom. I just really need to take this." Ana excuses herself from the table. Christian watches her as she stands up and walks out of the restaurant. She was gone for ten minutes when he decided to look for her. He finally sees her and it looks like she was arguing with the person at the other side of the line. He wasn't technically eavesdropping on her conversation. He couldn't help but overhear the last part.

"What do you mean? I thought you said we had more time? I can't do this now. I'm not ready yet. Can't you interfere him?" Ana is silent while the other person talks. Christian's forehead creases when a tear rolls down Ana's cheek. Who was she talking to and why was she crying? He decided to make his presence known and clears his throat. Ana's glassy eyes were locked on his. She mutters something before she hangs up and wraps her arms around Christian's neck.

"That must be one hell of a conversation you had to make you cry like this. Who was calling you?" he asks. This whole situation was making him nervous. He couldn't explain it, but he knew something bad was about to happen.

"I love you Christian Grey," she whispers against his lips before she closes the distance between them. "Don't you ever forget that," her words just made him even more nervous.

"Why are you talking like that?" he asks her cupping her cheeks. He stared at her eyes and she couldn't place the emotions behind them. Suddenly, she pulls away and shakes her head. She looks down and when she looked back at him, there was a fake smile plastered on her lips. She smacks his arm playfully and giggles, "Why? Can't your girlfriend say she loves you every once in a while?" Christian opens his mouth to speak but she was walking towards the table by then.

They were sat next to each other. Grabbing her hand, he leans in to whisper, "What's going on?" She looks at him briefly before she offers him a smile. "Nothing's wrong." She leans in to kiss him, not caring if her parents were in front of her. She ends it and with a squeeze of his hand, she lets go.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she announces.

"You want me to come with you?" Mia asks. Ana shakes her head no and leaves the table.

Five minutes… Ten minutes… Fifteen minutes…

She wasn't back yet. Surely he was getting nervous over nothing. He starts breathing heavily. No one notices him panicking since everyone else had their own conversations, but he couldn't hear any of it. He could only hear the blood rushing through his head. It sounded like static until everything blended into one noise. He closes his eyes trying to fight the pain he suddenly felt in his chest.

Twenty minutes… Twenty five minutes...

"Christian? Christian, honey." His head snaps up to the sound of Grace's voice. All the noise from the restaurant starts coming back. He slowly opens his eyes and see that everyone was staring at him.

"Are you okay, Christian?" Mia asks. He nods slowly.

"I wonder what's taking Ana so long? Mia, will you please check up on her?" Mia stands and heads to the bathroom, but only thirty seconds later, Mia comes running to the table- fear in her eyes. She was breathless as she came to the table holding Ana's purse.

"She's gone," Mia pants breathless. Everyone in the table was silent except for Christian.

"No…" even through his own ears he could hear the despair in his voice.

"Her stuff was just on the counter. She wasn't there. She's gone." Mia cries. That's all it took for him to yank Ana's stuff out of Mia's arms and ran out of the restaurant- ignoring Grace when she called out to him. The busy streets of Seattle past by him as he ran up and down the sidewalk looking for her. His phone vibrates in his pocket and with shaky hands, he opens the message waiting for him.

_I love you, Christian. Don't ever forget that. _

The pain in his chest felt too real. It felt like blades piercing his skin over and over again. Breathing was almost impossible. He felt like he was drowning and no matter how much he swam, he couldn't get to the surface. It felt like life was sucked right out of him, his vision blurs as his phone slips through his hands. Clutching his chest trying to ease the pain, his knees gave out and landed on the filthy ground. He didn't want to believe it, but it was true.

Ana was gone.

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><p><strong>So yeah. Ana's gone. Merry Christmas. <strong>

**xoxo JadeV**

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><p><strong>StephenPOV in New York a week earlier<strong>

"I want her found and brought to me. I am not going to be threatened by a little girl. She won't know what hit her. It was a bad move to threaten me when I could easily kill off every person she loves. Send her the documents and make sure she reads them. Find out how who she's working with and get rid of them!"


	10. Lost and Found

Three years. It's been three years since Ana disappeared. Nothing has been the same ever since. Christmas was spent silently, New Years wasn't celebrated at all. At least I didn't. I celebrated everything with her. She was always by my side. We had so many traditions, but I couldn't do any of them because she was gone. I watched from afar as the rest of my family celebrated as I sulked in my own world.

In the first year… Grace, Carrick, Mia and Elliot acted like nothing was missing- like no one was missing, but I couldn't do that. Ray and Carla never come over anymore. Last I heard, they gave up looking for her. Speaking of Carla- her and Stephen got a divorce a couple years ago. His business went under and this time Carla filed a divorce with the right reasons. Stephen got abusive towards her and I wondered if he was ever like that to my Ana.

I laugh at myself. _My Ana. _It just didn't sound right anymore. I don't even think she was mine to begin with. She didn't love me. If she did- she wouldn't have left me! All these years I waited and waited for her to come back, but no. Nothing. I thought I was going crazy a few times when I felt that electric buzz in the air, but I turn around and saw no one.

Maybe I was going crazy. When Ana left, she took my heart with her and I couldn't get it back. She must've took my common sense, manners and self control too. After she was left, there was nothing left of me. Everything I stood against… drugs, fighting, abuse… you name it, I've done it. Once again, I was the person that stood out from the all mighty Grey family. I bet they were even embarrassed to call me their son. Ha- they probably regret they ever took me in. Who wouldn't be? I got kicked out of every high school I've been to. I barely lasted a year with any of them until they said enough was enough.

I was an embarrassment to the family. I was a wreck until one day, an Elena Lincoln appeared before me. That day, she strutted towards me like a man on a mission. My gaze zeros in on her fake ass tits as she leans and her breasts almost pops out of her clothing that was probably four sizes smaller for her. She surprises me one day when she kisses me out of nowhere and in the next second, she slaps me and walks away. It hurt like a bitch, confused the hell out of me and left me with a tent on my jeans.

What can I say? I was a horny teenager. If I didn't have any touch issues, I would've banged everything with a pulse just like my whore of a brother. Why oh why did I ever tell Ana to hold off of sex? I should've at least had my way with her before she decided to leave me. At least- this was my anger talking. She knew about my touch issues and she did well the first time.

Elena was an old family friend and she probably knew about my touch issues. Oh hell was I in for a surprise when I came back the next day. She showed me her dungeon and let's just say, three years after Ana left me- I'm doing better. I even managed to get my education back on track. Of course Grace and Carrick were ecstatic that their embarrassment of a son was finally sobering up.

Three years later. Ana was a distant memory that pops up from time to time. I at least managed to salvage my self control after what Elena has done for me. She could be the third best thing that has happened in my life. If anyone ever found out that Elena was my domme, they would of course have different opinions. She saved me from myself and saved me from my path of self destruction. So she beats me until I am barely conscious? I've learned over the years, that I needed it… that I live for it. It is all I will be able to accept.

So here I am now. I can barely move my body as I walk through the front gates of my house. Mistress had me suspended in the air and she wasn't exactly gentle with her punishments. I make my way up the driveway slowly when I see a familiar car. I had to do a double take and rub my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating any of this.

I unlock the door slowly and with trembling hands, I push it open. I could feel the crackle of electricity in the air before I even stepped foot inside. She was here.

I ran as fast as I could to where I could hear everyone chatting. I've never felt like my house was huge until today. I stop dead in my tracks as I see her. I could see everyone staring at me, but all I could see was her. My legs moved on their own as they drop to a kneeling position in front of Ana where she sat. She was covered in bruises and bandaged up just like when I first saw her at the hospital weeks before everything went to shit.

She was here. She's alive. She's right in front of me. I must look like a crazed man because this is exactly what I am. I grab her hand with the scar and kissed it, trying to feel the connection. I stare up in her blue eyes, but she just stared at me blankly, her head cocking to one side. It left a burning sensation when she yanked her hands away from mine and I knew something was wrong.

"I'm sorry. But who the hell are you?" She yells at me. I gasp shocked. I sit on my ass as I bring my knees close to my chest as I try to control my breathing. I pull at my hair and looked her straight in the eyes once again, but there was no recognition. I can't believe this…

Ana doesn't remember me.

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><p><strong>Eyyyy. Ana doesn't remember him. Well that's that. At least they're together (sort of), right? Elena makes her first appearance and it won't certainly be her last. Why Ana left, who's the caller from the last chapter and what happens to our favorite couple's relationship now… you'll just have to wait. Short chapter- I apologize.<strong>

**I hope everyone enjoyed their holidays. I certainly did. I lazed around and slept until the sun came down and of course, I wrote for you lovely people. It's like 2 in the morning where I am now and I need to sleep for boxing day! I don't know when I'll be able to update again. Hopefully soon since it's winter break! Haha. K bye.**

**xoxo JadeV**


	11. Control

She was back, but nothing has changed. She is here, but she can't remember me. Maybe I shouldn't be so self centered. I mean- she didn't just forget about me. She forgot the rest of my family too. In the past three years, all I could think about was her even though I didn't want to and all this time… she couldn't even remember I existed.

She must think I'm some sort of loon after what happened yesterday. I couldn't take it and I completely lost it. Ray and Carrick had to pull me out the room and Ana looked absolutely terrified. I was desperate to make the pain numb just for a few hours, but damn my father for locking everything up. I deserved a fucking drink and was half tempted to bash the liquor cabinet open, but what would Elena do if she hears about that. Or more importantly, what would Ana think? Well the old one. The one who could remember me.

So here I am now, lying awake after another nightmare- the worst one yet. I'm sure I woke everyone up with my screams. My nightmares got worse when Ana disappeared and even though she has returned, my nightmares remain horrifying at best. I guess it just didn't feel like she has come back to us… to me.

I woke up soaked in my sweat until my shirt stuck to my skin and bed sheets strewn everywhere. Minutes later, Grace comes in and I can't help but feel bad that I woke her up once again. She has a towel and a glass of water ready for me and I'm pretty sure she just keeps these on her nightstand to give it to me when I wake her up in the middle of the night. She sat at the end of the bed trying to give me some space. Ever since Ana disappeared, I had trouble with anyone touching me and it took me months before I could even put my arm around Grace's shoulder.

"I'm sorry I woke you up again. You don't have to come to my room anymore, mom." I apologize.

"Nonsense, Christian. You don't have to apologize for something you can't control. Do you want to tell me what your nightmare was about?" she asks me. I'm not really all for sharing my fucked up dreams, but this one shook me more than any dreams I've ever had of that pimp or the person that gave birth to me.

"Ana never came back to us," I sigh. I should tell her the rest of my dream, but I wanted to spare her the gory details. Grace wipes the sweat from my forehead and moves the hair from my eyes. She's almost in tears and I have always hated it when she cried. I knew that this situation with Ana has affected her greatly too.

"She's with us, honey. She's safe and she is back."

"Is she _really_ back, mom? I mean- can you feel that she _is_ back? Because I can't! She couldn't even fucking remember my name!" I blow, sitting up as I slam my fist against the headboard. Grace tells me to watch my language and I quickly apologize. I know I shouldn't be venting my anger out towards her, but- fuck!

Grace looks at me with soft eyes and says, "She will get her memories back. She will remember you… all of us. Don't give up." There's just one problem though. I feel like I already have.

Who were they kidding? Ana was never going to get her memories back. The look she gave me yesterday was proof enough. She didn't even recognize me. When they asked her if I even looked slightly familiar, all she could do was shake her head no. How the fuck is it possible that she could just easily forget about me? We were a huge part in each other's lives for fuck's sake. She was finally back, but that didn't matter. She wasn't there. Not really… and it hurt so fucking much.

Hours pass and the sun finally rises. My alarm goes off and I groan as I get up. It was another sleepless night for me. No matter how exhausted I was from that fucking dream, I still tossed and turned and couldn't fall back asleep because all I could think about was her.

I skipped on breakfast, something I don't usually do, but I didn't feel like eating anything with the rest of my family knowing that their number one topic would be Ana. Mia and Elliot were absolutely ecstatic that Ana was back. Of course the fact that she couldn't remember anything dampened their excitement, but they were more positive than me. Before I headed out, I heard them talking about inviting Ana over after school to help her get her memory back. _If only things were that easy, _I thought.

I drove to school with only minutes to spare because I had to go to Elena's place to tell her I couldn't 'clean her yard' after school. I didn't feel like seeing her after school because somewhere in my fucked up heart, I wanted to see Ana. Memory or no memory.

I sat at the very back of every single one of my class brooding. I didn't have friends and I preferred it that way. Of course it didn't stop girls from eye fucking me in every school I got expelled from. I kept to myself and no one dared approach me since they all knew I had a reputation for violence. Too soon for my liking, the dismissal bell rang and it was time to face Ana. I wasn't exactly excited for our reunion since she didn't even know my name and I practically lost all hope she would ever regain her memory.

I park my car in the garage and shut the engine off. I still haven't left the comforts of my car because I'm fucking nervous. Everything is so confusing. One second I have given up all hope and in the next, I want her to regain her memory and we could all forget that she was gone in the last three years. How do I even approach her?

"_Hi. My name is Christian Grey. We've known each other since we were children and I ended up taking your virginity and we started dating." _Okay- maybe I should take out the virginity part. Actually- fuck this. I start the engine and pull out my phone to call Elena. This was why I agreed to being Elena's submissive. The part that drew me to the lifestyle. Control.

I start to back up when the garage door opens and Mia runs to my car. She signals me to roll down the window. As soon as it was all the way down, she reaches in, unlocks the door and pulls me out of the car by my arm.

"Mia, what the hell!" She gives me a devious smirk and leans in my car to shut the engine off as she takes the keys and puts it in her pocket.

"Ana, Elliot and I saw you pull up. When you still didn't come up, we thought you would make a run for it so here I am. Ana already asked who and I quote 'the crazy guy' was and we told her that it was better if you introduced yourself. C'mon, we've been waiting for you since forever."

"First of all, why in the world would I make a run for it? And Mia, give me back my fucking keys," I growl. She sticks her tongue out at me, ignores my question and walks back in the house. I follow her in and meet Elliot in the entertainment room.

"Where's Ana?" Mia asks.

"She went to the bathroom. Hey bro! You excited to see Ana again?" Elliot grins and for some reason, all I wanted to do was punch his head in.

Reeling in my anger, I reply, "Not in the slightest. I'm going to my room. Do not disturb me with shit I don't care about" I turn, but Mia's voice stops me in my tracks.

"Why can't you stop being an ass for once? Don't pretend that you don't care because you fucking do!" I turn and see Mia in tears. Elliot's trying to calm her down, but she keeps going.

"You think you were the only one that lost her that day? I lost her too! Elliot lost her. Ray lost her. Everyone lost her. You weren't the only one that lost her that day. You weren't the only one that was grieving. But Christian… she's here now. She's with us. Sure she can't remember any of us and we can't replace the memories she had with us. But that doesn't mean we can't make new ones." I don't say anything. I just turn and get out of the room.

I don't get far down the hallway when I pass a half opened door and stop. I was in front of the piano room. I always played the piano after a nightmare. That made too much noise and woke everyone up so they had that room made for me. That's where Mia stored her cello too. I peek in and see Ana.

She caresses the piano keys with a soft smile on her face. I continued to watch as she strolled around the room until she stopped right in front of the bookcase that almost killed her when we were quite young. I remember how I felt so protective of her. I promised myself that I wouldn't let anyone hurt her, but I clearly failed.

I watch her curiously as she reaches out for a damaged glass trophy. She holds her hand up beside the glass and traces the scar that has lightened over the past few years. A tear spills out of her cheeks and now I am just confused. Is she crying because the trophy was all battered up? I remember that trophy sustaining a lot of damage when it fell. The once curved edges of the base were now chipped and sharp. The gold plaque that was there before was taped to it now and I remember that they had to clean a lot of blood from Ana's wound from… years ago. Why would she cry over something she couldn't remember? Unless...

"You deserve a fucking Oscar for your little performance," I spit out. She turns and her hand flies to her mouth. That's right- be shocked. She wipes the tears from her face. Moments ago, I would've wanted to be the one to wipe them off, but now all I feel is rage.

"C-Christian?" she stutters and that only confirmed my suspicions.

"You were lying this entire time. You never lost your fucking memory," I seethe.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't even know who you are," her voice trembles and her voice raises its pitch. She should've known that no matter how good she got at lying, she could never lie to me. I would find out sooner or later.

"Oh really? Then why did you call me Christian if you didn't know who I was?" I hissed.

"Mia and Elliot told me your name," she lies, her voice returning to normal. She walks towards the door and closes it.

"You see, Mia told me that she didn't because she thought that I should be the one to introduce myself. Answer me Anastasia. Why. Are. You. Lying." I walk towards her and grab her by her arm. She pleaded with me to let her go, but I wasn't releasing her until I got my answers.

"I can't tell you…" she finally sobs. I feel my own tears fall out of anger. "Why? Why are you pretending that you don't know any of us? Are we that easy to forget?" I whisper as I release her. She tries to reach out to touch me, but I slap her hand away. I don't think I could handle being touched by her. She seems shocked that I rejected her. Good. At least she knows how I felt in the last three years.

"I thought pretending that I forgot everything would make you all ask fewer questions. I never wanted to leave, but I had to. I was going to come back. That was the plan, but it took us longer than expected."

"Who's '_us_'?" Her eyes widen as she realizes that she just slipped up.

"I can't tell you…" she says for the second time in this conversation. Is that all I'm going to get from her? She was with someone the entire time. I thought she left on her own. I thought she was alone. Knowing that someone took her made me more furious.

"Are you serious?" I scoff. "You're actually trying to protect someone that took you away from us- that took you away from ME?! You said you'd never leave me yet you fucking left."

"Christian, please. Don't tell anyone about this. Please…" she begs.

"Why of course. We wouldn't want anyone to think badly of you, right?" I spit sarcastically as I turn to leave.

"I love you…" she cries quietly. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear that and I don't know what possessed me when I turned around and said,

"Joke's on you because I never loved you."

I take Elliot's spare keys and drive his car to Elena's house. I don't know why I decided to come here first, but I felt like I had no control. I use the keys that Elena gave to me to open her garage. I make sure her husband's car wasn't there before I went in the house and found Elena in her living room.

"What are you doing here? I thought you said you couldn't make it."

"Change of plans," I say.

"Oh good. Because I have something new that I want to try." She smirks and leads me down to her dungeon. I was about to get on my knees to the standard submissive position, but when I turn around, Elena wasn't in her usual attire. And more importantly, _she _was kneeling before _me. _

"Elena?"

"Yes... _master_?"

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><p><strong>I don't know if I'm happy with how this chapter turned out. I think I made Christian a little too cold. Oh well. It is what it is.<strong>

**I hope you guys had an amazing Christmas or whatever you celebrate. Filipino parties are always festive but can be exhausting at times. I also hope you guys have an exciting, healthy new year.**

**xoxo JadeV**


	12. Love is for fools

**I would just like to address some things before we get on with the story. I have recieved several reviews stating that my story was disgusting because I put Elena in it. May I just remind you that Elena was already part of the original story. I didn't just pull out the character of a pedophile from my head. I am not a pedophile nor am I into pedophiles ← (my answer to that one guest reviewer). **

**Moving on, every story needs a protagonist and an antagonist. In this case, Stephen, Elena and possibly other people are the bad guys in my story. They are there to provide drama to the story. Obviously my story isn't one of those stories that everything is fine and dandy. Most of you may have noticed that there's some sort of drama in every single chapter and there are a lot of things going on. Elena is temporary. How temporary? Maybe I'm going to get rid of her in the next chapter or maybe I won't. Who knows. **

**For the people who question my creativity and originality… This is my first fanfic ever. So just like other new authors, I didn't want to stray too far from the original story. Not everyone is as bold as to change the entire story. That's why you see similar plots all the time. The only thing I changed the most was how and when Christian and Ana met. Husband #3 was already suspected to be violent, I just added a little more story to it. When Ana left Christian, he became the uncontrollable teenager like in the books. That's why Elena was Christian's domme and we all know that in the books that Elena becomes Christian's sub as well and in the books- they get rid of Elena and that is what I am also planning. I hate that bitch. Of course I'm going to get rid of her. **

**So, I am truly sorry that some readers think that my story is revolting, disgusting, repeated, boring, but it is what it is. It's your choice if you want to continue reading my story till the end. I won't tell you to stop reading nor to continue. It is simply your choice.**

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><p>"How are things with Ana?" I continue eating and ignore my mother's question, but Mia decides to answer the question for me.<p>

"How do you think, mom? He wouldn't even see her yesterday like the coward he is." Mia glares at me and I could only glare back.

"That's enough," Grace scolds. Mia pushes her plate away and leaves the room. Elliot scowls at me before he leaves the table to chase after Mia. I know they both probably hate me, but I couldn't care less.

This was the first time anyone's mentioned Ana in front of me since I got home after that scene with Elena yesterday. It was a surprise and I didn't know what to do at first, but she guided me through it and I eventually got a hang of the basics. Apparently, Elena knew that I wasn't born to be a submissive. Elena served as a great distraction yesterday, but every second of that scene, all I could think about was Ana. What would I give for Elena to be Ana last night.

When I got home and went to bed last night, I thought my nightmares were going to keep me up all night. Instead, I dreamed about Ana. Her crystal blue eyes that anyone could get lost in and her long chestnut hair. I dreamed that she was mine and I turned her pretty ass into a deep shade of red. Let's just say I waked up with a huge hard on and I jerked off for the first time in a long time with the thoughts of my ex girlfriend/ ex bestfriend. As of now, I don't know how I feel about Ana.

"Christian, get your head out of the clouds."

"What?" My attention goes to Grace and she looks disappointed and mad at the same time. I haven't seen that look since the principal of my old school called to tell her that I was expelled.

"What happened to you? It's like you've given up. This is Ana, Christian. Can't you at least make an effort like the rest of us are doing? I don't know what's gotten into you these past few days." How I wish I could just say that Ana didn't actually lose her memory, but I need to find out why she's pretending and who exactly took her.

"I'm sorry. I promise to try harder." I finish the rest of my breakfast and locked myself in the piano room. Yesterday was the first time I've been in this room in months. My life just became school, rowing team and Elena that I barely had the time to go here. I sit and let my fingers glide along the keys. Although I'm still rusty, I could still play complex pieces. I just close my eyes and just let the music flow and clear my mind. I haven't felt this peaceful in such a long time only to be broken when I hear someone come in.

"Elena? What are you doing here?" Shit. What time is it? I look at my and it's almost lunch time. Ana's going to be here soon. I don't know why, but I don't want Elena and Ana to meet. My mom and Elena's friendship only really blossomed after Ana left and they never met each other. It was only Elena's husband that would come over before to have business meetings with Carrick.

"You can't be here." I stand and open the door for her to get out, but she only enters the room more and closes the door behind her.

"I only came to plan out the gala with your mother. But do tell me Christian. Why can't I be here?" she asks almost too sultry. In any other given day I would've been responsive, but we were in my house and Ana or anyone could walk in any time. She walks around the grand piano as I tap my foot impatiently.

"Has it something to do with your little friend? _Anastasia _was it?" She struts towards me and lifts my chin up roughly, her nails digging into my skin. "Don't forget who made you, Christian. Love is for fools. You should know that," she whispers. All of my hair stands on one end as she brushes an imaginary lint off my shoulder and walks out. I have a feeling Elena knows more about my situation than I thought.

I follow her towards the kitchen and I see Grace putting the finishing touches on our meal. Elena tells her she has to leave and I momentarily panic when Grace invites her to stay.

"I know you have a very important guest coming over and I have errands to run for the gala."

"Drive safely then."

"I will." Elena turns and walks past me and whispers, "Don't forget what I said."

Grace clears her throat, calling for my attention. "Ana will be here any time soon and-" Right on cue, the doorbell rings. I hear footsteps rushing down the stairs as Mia yells "I got it!" I shake my head and turn to leave, but pivot when I hear Grace sigh deeply.

"I know it's been hard on you the most, Christian. I just hope that you don't give up."

"I promise that I'd try, didn't I?" I leave and seat myself on the table. Everything was set up and I watch as our most recent housekeeper lays the food in front of us. Dad is busy at work and Elliot only flew back from college because Ana came back. In his excitement, he left all his luggage in the airport and is now there to pick it up. So right now it was only Mia, mom, Ana and I in the house. Grace walks in with Mia moments later and I don't see Ana. Mia doesn't take her usual seat next to me and hasn't even looked my way yet. The table is silent until Grace asks Mia where Ana was.

"She had to take a call. She's still in my room."

"Why don't you call Ana down, Christian." I look at her and she gives me a stern look. I sigh and get up. Pushing my seat back, I head to Mia's room. I open her door and I gasp when I see Ana.

"Christian! What the fuck!" Ana scrambles to put her shirt on, but seeing Ana in her bra wasn't the reason why I gasped. She was bruised everywhere. Her ribs were black and blue and I'm not sure how she's even moving. Elena was harsh with her punishments, but Ana's bruises were on a different level. And- did she just say 'fuck'?

"I'm calling my mother." She needs to get checked out.

"Christian, stop. Do not call your mother. These are just bruises. They barely hurt. It's nothing," she shrugs it off.

"What do you mean it's nothing? You're fucking black and blue! I'm calling my mom." She and I may not be in the best terms right now, but fuck.

"Christian, no offense, but why the fuck do you care?" Yup- she definitely swore and I even asked myself why I cared… beats me. "You were very clear yesterday about your feelings for me. So, why don't you do us both a favor and mind your own business." I just wanted to take her over my knee and spank her right then and there. I try to reign in my anger and ask what cause the bruises. She tosses her head back and sighs deeply.

"We had to make the lie believable," was all she said. "That's why I was so banged up when I came back."

"So what- they beat you?" I also ask her who beat her up, but she was very insistent on keeping her little abuser a secret. Still as stubborn as ever.

"Basically." She paces around the room before she settles on Mia's bed. I pull up a chair and sit in front of her. I am beyond furious. All of this for one lie?

"You look like you were tied to a car and dragged around." She just stares at me blankly. She gets up and walks towards Mia's full length mirror. Lifting up her shirt, she presses a finger to her swelling bruise. She doesn't even wince.

"What can I say- I easily bruise. I can barely feel it. Just let it go. Please. Let's go downstairs." She starts walking, but halts and turns around.

"Thank you. For not telling anyone that is," she says. I don't say anything. I justs stand, open the door for her and go down to my mom and Mia.

I don't know what to feel anymore. I'm pissed at her but at the same time, I can't get her out of my head. I want to know what happened in the last three years that she's been missing and at the same time, I don't want anything to do with it. Everything is just so fucked up and confusing.

I follow Ana downstairs and sit to my spot as she sits next to mine. Mia, Ana and Grace happily chatted away while I remained silent. Grace tried to include me in their conversations, but as soon as I started talking, Mia would stop. She needs to stop being so overly dramatic. Grace just stopped trying halfway through and I have yet said a single word towards Ana. I'm not doing this on purpose. It's just all the things I want to say to her can't be said in front of anyone who doesn't know she was faking her amnesia.

It was now time for dessert and nothing can lighten the mood but some good chocolate cake. I almost moan at the first bite and I can tell Grace prepared this dessert so I'd be in a good mood.

"I remember that you would stuff your face with cake when you were children," Ana commented. Both Mia and my mom stop eating and stares at Ana. Ana looks up and finds everyone staring at her. Her eyes seemed panicked for a second as she glances at me. She knows she made a major slip up. I swallow my chocolate cake and say,

"You remember? This is great. Your memories are coming back!" I say enthusiastically. I don't know what's gotten into me and why I am saving her ass.

"This is great, Ana! You're starting to remember stuff. I told you there was hope, Christian! I told you!" Mia says excitedly. The dessert is forgotten as Mia pulls Ana out from her seat and asks her what else she remembers. Ana mouths a silent _thank you _and an _I owe you one_ before Mia pulls her out of the room. Grace stands up and puts her hand on my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before heading out after Mia and Ana.

I don't think I can stand hearing her lie about how she doesn't remember anything else but my liking for chocolate cake. I decide to leave them alone and head to my room. Though minutes later, I hear a knock on my door and open it to see Ana. Great- I already saved her ass. What else does she want?

"Can I come in?" I take a step back and let her in. She stops in the middle of my room taking in her surroundings. Nothing has changed much from when the time she left. I just threw a bunch of pictures of her and I. I couldn't handle looking at her face when she 'disappeared'.

"I hate this," she sighs.

"Hey- you're the one that left. You're the one that's hiding things from me. If anything, I should be the one hating this. Hating _you._" I can feel my anger rising with every word.

"I'm sorry." Tears start to form in her eyes and I groan in annoyance. I'm annoyed that her tears can still affect me. Without thinking, I reach to wipe them as she leans into my hand.

"Can't we just start over? Pretend like none of this ever happened? Be back to the way we used to be? Back where we loved each other or at least you pretending that you loved me?" she begs desperately. How I wish it was that easy but I can't do that.

_Love is for fools, Christian… _I hear Elena's words ring in my head. She's said it enough time to the point where I am starting to believe it.

"I forgive you. I don't think I can ever not forgive you but- what you want can't happen. We can't pretend that the three years you were gone never existed. A lot has happened to me and to you in those three years. We are not the same people we used to be anymore. And after everything that you've done… I don't think I can trust you anymore." Her bottom lip trembles and more tears spill on her cheeks. She looks down on her hands as she asks,

"So what happens to us now?"

"We can try being friends, I guess. From now on, I will mind my own business and I will definitely not save your ass again when you slip up. Just answer me one question." She lift her head up to meet my gaze.

"Do you regret it? You leaving us… leaving me. Do you regret it?"

"No- I don't." She turns her head and places a kiss on the palm of my hands.

"So friends?" she asks.

"Friends."

The following week has been extremely busy. Everyone is getting ready for our annual gala. Because of this, Elena and I haven't met up all week since she's part of the party planning committee or whatever.

Usually, Ana would be my date to these types of events so my mother had this brilliant idea to pair me with her. I guess this is all part of trying to be friends again. It was harder than I thought. I truly have forgiven her, but it all comes down to trust. There are times when I just want to let her back in again, but I don't want to at the same time.

She and I have been talking, but we avoid all personal questions. Mia has finally started talking to me when she realizes that Ana and I are in good terms- well, sort of. Things are still awkward with her, but I hope this gala helps since I'm going to be with her all night.

Tonight, I decided to wear a new tux Grace insisted me to wear. Unlike Elliot, I can stand being in a tux. It's a good thing he couldn't make it tonight and he had to go back to college. Ana arrived here this afternoon, but I haven't seen her yet. She's locked up in Mia's room probably being Mia's barbie doll.

I do the rest of my buttons and head out. I open the door and catch Ana's hand as she goes to knock on my door. She yelps in surprise and I look down- What the fuck was she wearing.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" Shit- I said it out loud. She looks hurt, but quickly hides it. I grab her wrist and pull her into my room. I can't resist and walk around her, examining every inch of her fucking exposed skin. No seventeen year old should be dressed like this. She was too fucking hot. I discretely adjust the tightness in my pants as I walk behind her. Holy fuck- where is the back of this dress?

She is wearing a deep red dress that flows to the ground. It's strapless and I know these are the types of dresses that doesn't requires bras since it's so fucking cut so low. The back dips to where her spine meets her ass. The fabric clings to her like a second skin, hugging every curve of her body. Shit- she sure has changed in the last three years. She wasn't flat chested before, but fuck- her tits are fuller now and her legs. It goes on for days.

"Do you not like it?" I shake my head.

"I'll go change," she sniffs. I can tell that she's upset with my reaction, but I love it so much that I hate it.

"No- we don't have time. Come." I should've told her that she looked fantastic, but my brain forgot it's manners once my dick took control. I need to get her out of my room before I do anything I regret.

We get to the venue and was seated to our tables. I found out that Elena wasn't seated in our table- thank god for that. I don't ever want Ana to find out about Elena and… my new lifestyle. Mia pulls Ana to the bathroom minutes later. Something about touching up on their make up. The waiters come by and ask us if we want anything to drink. Legally- we weren't allowed to drink alcohol and I doubt Grace and Carrick would allow me have a sip of alcohol while I live under their roof. So, I just ask for coffee and tea for Ana. Tea bag out of course.

Ana and Mia come back as the waiter arrives.

"Miss, your tea," the waiter smiles.

"May I have coffee instead?"

"No problem." I watch as the waiter pours her coffee and she willingly takes a sip of it. I must have been staring at her for a long time because she turns to me and asks me why I was staring at her.

"You're drinking coffee. Willingly too." I point out. Ana hated coffee. At least- the Ana that I knew hated coffee. She said it was too bitter and if she needed caffeine- she'd rather drink a two liter coke bottle than to take a sip of coffee. It seems her improving her acting skills weren't the only things that changed about her or the fact that she swears now. Ana used to be an open book for me even as children. I knew everything about her and now, I don't even know what's going on in that head of hers. Wow- three years can change you. This just shows me that I don't know a lot about this Ana.

"You have changed."

**APov**

Well this night started off horrible. I didn't think Christian would hate my dress so much. Mia said that I looked hot, but I guess I didn't. Fuck- why do I even care what he thinks about my dress?

As soon as I got settled in my seat, Mia drags me to the bathroom where she talks about me and Christian. I think it's adorable how Mia tries to make me remember about my relationship with Christian. I wonder how much they will all hate me when they find out I've been faking this amnesia this entire time?

We get back to the table and the waiter gives me a cup of hot water with the tea bag on the side. Ever since I left, I've spent a lot of nights awake so coffee has been my bestfriend. I ask for coffee instead and I realize Christian has been staring at me for a long time now. He points out to me that I used to hate coffee. I almost forgot that I used to drink tea all the time.

"You have changed," he says and turns his attention to Grace who was looking for Carrick. I don't know why- but I felt hurt from those three words. I couldn't have changed that much, could I? I know I changed appearance wise, but I'm still the same Ana. Just cross out the secret life I'm fucking leading.

"Darling, where were you?" Grace asks as Carrick reaches the table. "I was with Lincoln. I would've thought he wouldn't make an appearance like last year. He just left though," he says, kissing his wife on the cheek.

"Oh that's too bad. I haven't seen Max in a long time. Anyway, it's time for the first dance auction."

"Mom, can I please join next year?" Mia asks and the whole table laughs. Apparently, Mia has been asking to be in this dance auction since she turned sixteen and Grace would always reply, "Maybe next year, sweetie."

"You say that all the time," Mia pouts. "Maybe next year, Ana can join me too!" Everyone turns their heads towards me. I blush from being the center of attention. "Sure, why not?" I laugh nervously. Maybe Mia will forget in the next year or I can fake another amnesia.

We watch as each of the girls took the center of the stage. I have to admit that they were all extremely gorgeous. I can't imagine being in front of all those people. Fuck- that girl's first dance was just auctioned for ten thousand dollars. Yup- definitely faking another amnesia. I don't care, I'm not getting up there. No thank you.

A guy in a black suit with an earpiece approaches Carrick. I swear his face paled and then reddened in a millisecond as the suit guy whispers something in his ear. He looks at something and I follow his gaze towards other men in black suits. They all seemed like they were on high alert and I'm not the only one that noticed it.

"What is it dad?" Christian asks.

"There seems to a problem. Someone managed to get through security. There's no need to panic. Everyone enjoy your night while I go take care of this. I'll be back soon." He gets up and almost run towards the exit.

"What's going on?" Mia asks. I find myself getting extremely nervous.

"Apparently, your father has been receiving more threats than usual. Most of them were directed towards him, but some were directed towards us. That's why there's more security than last year," Grace explains. Shit- this is not good. I look around even though I don't know what I'm looking for exactly. I feel Christian's hand on my knee.

"Are you okay?" I nod and place my hand on his and squeeze it lightly before letting it go. He eyes me doubtedly. "I'm fine. I promise," I assure him.

"I guess the dance will have to start earlier," Grace stands up and takes the stage. "I hope you are all enjoying your night. I would like to call on the ladies and their partners on the dance floor." Waltz music fills the room and everyone is getting up from their seats and piles on the dance floor. I feel someone tap my shoulder and turn to see Christian offering his hand.

"Dance with me." I only notice Mia behind him when she nudges him and tells him to ask me more politely.

"May I have this dance, me lady?" he asks more playfully. I bow, lifting my skirt and taking his hand. I see Mia and Grace smiling at us while Christian and I dance across the floor.

"You know you didn't have to ask me to dance," I whisper in his ear.

"I told you we'd try being friends. This is me trying. Mind telling me how you lost your two left feet?" He asks smirking at me. Of course the Ana he knew could barely walk on a flat surface, yet alone dance.

"I learned a few skills while I was away," I mumble. I feel Christian's shoulders stiffen. I guess discussing the years I left is still an uncomfortable topic for him, but I'm glad he's no longer pushing me to tell him anything. If he was still demanding information from me, I might've caved in by now. He already knows too much already.

We dance in silence. Great- I've totally ruined his mood. The song finally ends and another starts. He immediately lets go of my hand and my waist and walks back to our table. I follow him, but a blonde man stops me. He looks like he's in his early twenties- probably younger than Elliot though.

"Would you like to dance with me?" he asks. I see Christian turn when he notices I'm no longer following him and glares at the guy who has his hand stretched in front of me. I don't want to be rude and take his hand. He flashes me his perfectly white teeth and pulls me in the middle of the dance floor.

"I'm Ethan. Ethan Kavanaugh. I saw you earlier and I couldn't resist asking you to dance with me. I hope that boy you were just dancing with wasn't your boyfriend." _That boy… _He sounds like a prick already. I bow my head slightly so he can't see me roll my eyes.

"I'm Ana and no. He wasn't my boyfriend." Not anymore anyways. I offer him my fakest smile, but I have to admit he isn't that bad appearance wise. He has sandy blonde hair, sun kissed skin and the loveliest green eyes. Though, his eyes could never compare to Christian's.

_Christian Christian Christian. _Do I have to compare everyone with Christian? _Let's face it, Steele. You and Christian are over! He didn't even love you. Love is for idiots. You even cried in front of him when you haven't cried in over three years. Pathetic, _my inner goddess chimes. The alter ego I have developed is even a prick to me.

I think it's only been a couple of minutes, but it feels like I've been dancing with him for hours. Why can't the song stop now? It these couple of minutes, he has stepped on my foot three times and I discovered that he is the son of Mr. Kavanaugh as in Kavanaugh Media.

The song slows as he dips me and when he pulls me back, his lips are on me. What the fuck. I would've pulled away and slapped him already if his hands weren't holding me so close against him. What the fuck does he think he's doing. I finally shove him off of me.

"Sorry. I couldn't resist." He has the audacity to smirk at me. Bastard. I raise my hand and slap him, my palm making a red mark across his cheek.

"Sorry. I couldn't resist," I mimic him. I stomp on his foot and run to my table. I see Mia and Grace, but I don't see Christian. It was probably obvious that I was looking for him when Mia says that he went outside for fresh air.

"I wasn't looking for him," I lie.

"Yeah right. Memory or no memory, you still feel the same way about him." She whispers that last part thinking I didn't hear it.

"I need to go to the bathroom."

"Sure you do…" Mia says smirking.

I leave the table and walk towards the exit where I spot Christian. He is with a woman with platinum blonde hair wearing the tightest dress ever. He leaves with her and I rush to the exit, but I couldn't find them.

**CPov**

I fucking see red. Who the fuck does he think he is and why the fuck is Ana letting him kiss her? I storm towards them, but I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder. From the lack of warmth, I already know it's Elena. She must think I'm fucking pathetic right now.

"Look at her, Christian," she whispers in my ear. "She's already moved on from you. Is that what you call love? How many times do I have to tell you that love is for fools? Look at them having a good time. We can watch them or we can have a good time too…" she says seductively. Thank god we're in the corner and no one can notice us. I turn on my heel and leave, Elena trailing behind me.

I can't believe she would do that to me? _Who am I fucking kidding- we're not together_, I remind myself. But still- it was only a few days ago when she told me she fucking loved me. I might've said some things that hurt her, but I didn't think she would bounce back that fast. When she said that she didn't regret leaving me, maybe she meant I just didn't mean anything to her. Leaving me wasn't hard for her and she definitely didn't regret anything.

Elena was right… Love is for fools. And I refuse to be a fool any longer.

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><p><strong>Okay, so it's getting worse for Ana and Christian. Before you guys show the hate, does it help if I guarantee an HEA for Christian and Ana? But before that- more drama.<strong>

**Sorry for the typos or if it doesn't make any sense. Am I just tired or does this chapter make any sense? School is starting tomorrow (technically today since it's past 12), but I'm still up. Hahaha. I just wanted to post something before I'm buried in exams and tears. I'm sorry. Bye.**

**xoxo JadeV**


	13. She remembers

**A/N: Special thanks to AshArythaAvven btw. Sorry I couldn't reply. Forgive me ples.**

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><p><strong>Two years ago...<strong>

_This is it. This was the call that we've been waiting for in almost two years. After this, I can finally go back home._

"_Answer the phone and don't agree to anything he says. You have nothing to be afraid of, Annie. I will never let him come near you," he promises me. I mouth a silent thank you before I pick up the phone with shaking hands._

"_Hello?"_

"_Did you miss me?" I feel a cold chill run to the bottom of my spine._

"_Stephen…" my voice is shaky and I hate how he reduces me in a nervous, shivering, scared mess by just hearing his voice._

"_Did you think ruining my business will stop me from coming after your family? Do you think that leaving and hiding from me will stop me from coming after you? You're wrong, sweet girl. I'll make sure everyone you love, including your little savior will suffer because of you. You can't protect everyone."_

"_Don't hurt any of them. Please!" I beg through the phone. He laughs and I can hear something in the background. My mother's voice. "Mom…? MOM!" I can almost see him grinning evilly through the phone. Why is my mom with Stephen? Something's not right._

"_That's right. Did you think you can protect all of them from me? If you want to save mother, you already know what I want in return." The line cuts off._

"_Me…" It was no question. He wanted me._

_He takes the phone away from my hand and puts it down. "What did Stephen want?" he asks me._

"_Me. He wants me. Stephen… he has my mother." His face reddens and turns to one of his men and instructs them to find where my mother was and why he wasn't informed she was taken._

"_Ana, I promise you that no harm will come to your mother. We will get rid of Stephen. I promise." All I can do was nod. No harm will come to my mother? Stephen already fucking has her._

"_I need to save her. I can't just leave her in Stephen's hands! Let Stephen take me and they can lead us to her."_

"_Annie, it's too dangerous."_

"_You don't have any leads to where Stephen is. We don't know where he is, but I can lead you to him. You said that you wouldn't let me be harmed. We've ruined his business, he's done. All he can do now is target everyone I love. He has my mother and I can't risk that. This is where it comes down to…"_

"_Ana…"_

"_We both know that I'll still do it…"_

"_It's too dangerous. I can't risk you."_

"_And I can't risk my mother." He stands and takes out his phone._

"_I want a small tracking device tonight. Tonight, we get rid of Stephen Morton once and for all." He ends the call and walks up to hug me. In all of the years that I've known him- I never thought he'd be the caring type._

"_I will be fine. Calm down before your gray hair multiplies," I joke. "This would've been easier if I never ended up caring about you," he sighs._

"_What can I say? I'm really loveable," I smile. He laughs for a second and his face immediately turns serious._

"_We are going to put a tracking device on your clothes. Where ever you and Stephen go, we will follow. I will not let you out of my sight."_

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><p><strong>APov Present time...<strong>

I wake up once again in my own sweat screaming. I panic when I don't recognize where I am at first, but remember that I was in a guest room in the Grey's house. I was completely exhausted after last night, but I also remember falling asleep in Mia's room after calling Ray to pick me up.

It seems that Mia changed my clothes last night as well. I should thank her for that because if I slept with that dress on, my boobs would've popped out of my dress already. I am now wearing one of Mia's silks that she likes to wear.

I blindly reach for my phone and see that it's almost noon and I had a text message from him.

I heard there was a security issue. I roll my eyes and text him back.

Everything is alright. Don't worry. -Ana

I put the phone in my clutch and change into jeans and a button up shirt that Mia probably placed in my room.

I walk in the kitchen and smell eggs and glorious bacon. Delicious. "Ana- Hi!" Grace greets cheerfully. Ignoring the dull ache of my head, I accept the bowl of fruit she offers me. She puts something in the oven and sets a timer off.

"I'm sorry I ended up sleeping here last night. I thought Ray would wake me up. How did I end up in a guest room?"

"I asked Ray to let you stay over since you were clearly exhausted. Before you lost your memory, you used to sleep in Mia's room but we decided to put you in a guestroom instead. We didn't want to assume that you're comfortable with us already." I hear Grace's voice sadden and I feel like a piece of shit.

"I'm sorry." That's all I can do at this point. Apologize.

"Oh honey. You don't have to apologize for anything. It's not your fault you lost your memory. We're just glad that you're back." Grace's kindness tugs at my heart and I feel like a piece of shit even more. Grace takes a seat in front of me and sighs.

"Are you getting along with Christian?" she asks me.

"At times," I say truthfully.

"He was the worst out of all of us when you went missing." Grace starts tearing up and I don't think I'm far behind. "He was just so lost…" she drifts off. What did she mean by lost?

"Oh dear. What am I doing? Obviously you don't know anything about what I'm talking about. Forget I ever said anything," she nervously laughs. She turns so that her back was facing me.

"No- I want to know," I push. "What happened?" I reach out to her. She turns and plops back to her seat.

"Don't worry about it, Ana. He's fine now. A friend, Elena, helped him get on track again." Get on track? How bad was he that he couldn't stay on track? But more importantly…

"Who's Elena?"

"Oh, of course you wouldn't know who Elena is. Elena is Mr. Lincoln's wife."

"I don't remember him having a wife." I blurt out. _Shit- I'm not supposed to remember anything at all. I'm a fucking idiot. _"Um… I mean. Mr. Lincoln is the one Carrick was looking for last night, right? I didn't know he had a wife." This one was at least true. I remember that he would always visit the Grey house alone. He was never one for small talk.

"Elena wasn't really a social person before. I just met her three years ago and she really is an amazing person. She has helped Christian a lot. I would love for you to meet her."

"I'd love to meet her too," I say. If Christian was in such bad shape after I left, I might have to send this Elena a gift basket, thanking her for helping Christian out.

The timer in the oven goes off and the scrumptious smell of mac and cheese fills my nose. Another one of Christian's favorites.

"Ana, can you do me a favor and wake Christian up? He usually doesn't sleep this late." I hop off of the stool and finish the rest of my fruit and head to Christian's room. I know what she's trying to do. Mia has been doing the same thing too. They're trying to get Christian and I back together. I know it won't happen though. It's not like I gave up. It's more of I've learned to deal with the facts- Christian and I were not meant to be together. I only wish it was as simple as that though. Also, I wouldn't want to pull Christian into my fucked up life especially now. I still truly care for him now and even if he and I go our separate ways in the future.

I try knocking on the door. I hear a mumble from the other side of the door and I try knocking again. Maybe I should go in to wake him?

I turn the knob and I got disappointed when it was unlocked. I see him tossing around his bed slightly. His eyebrows are knitted together and he's mumbling a bunch of incoherent words. Maybe I should just let him sleep for a few more minutes. I'm going to be considered a pervert if I stay here too long looking at his abs.

I start to leave when I hear him say, "Ele… An… " I turn thinking that he was awake already. But, when I turn, he shifts and lies on his back as he continues to lightly snore. I wasn't sure if I heard him correctly.

I drag my feet across the carpet towards his bed. I am only a foot away from him when I stub my fucking toe on the fucking bed which caused me to fall forward, landing on Christian. I might know how to dance now, but I still have my two left feet.

His eyes snap open and he grips my wrists tightly and pushes me so I land on my ass on the floor. Fuck- I was touching his very naked chest. I see him breathing heavily- his eyes a stormy gray glaring at me.

"Do not touch me," his voice is low and menacing. I instantly lower my gaze on the floor and apologize before I brush myself off and half walk half run towards Christian's door.

**CPov**

I watch as she squirms, avoids my glare and leaves my room. What the fuck was she doing in my room? I know I shouldn't have snapped at her. Knowing Ana- she must've tripped like she always does, but fuck- I'm still mad at her from kissing the Kavanaugh douche. I guess I just lashed out on her because of that. No matter how much I took out my frustration last night with Elena, I still didn't feel better.

If anything, I felt worse after. Elena spent most of last night lecturing me on how feelings were useless. It almost took all of my control to not tell her to shut her trap or fucking gag her. I already fucking know all of the shit she was saying over and over again last night. Love is for fucking fools. I fucking get it. I thought I could have one nightmare free night, but who did I dream about? Elena.

"_Where do your loyalties lie? To me who helped you in your darkest days or to little Anastasia?" Ana steps into the light and I was about to take her hand, but they were already occupied by Ethan fucking Kavanaugh. "You don't need her, Christian. She's the one that left you. She's the one that hurt you. You don't need her. All you need is me." _Is she right? Do I not need Ana?

I shake the dream off and wash up before I go downstairs. After I cooled down, I realized that maybe I shouldn't have reacted that harshly. I'm still serious about trying to being friends with Ana, but sometimes I have doubts if that's even possible.

"Good afternoon, honey. Where's Ana? Did she not come with you?" Grace asks, looking behind me.

"She woke me up and left. I assumed she'd be here." I mumble. As soon as I walked in, I smelled mac and cheese. "Can you go look for her? She didn't really eat much and I don't want Ray to think we're not taking care of Ana." I really don't want to look for her, but something tells me my mom won't let me eat until Ana is seated right in front of her.

Just as when I take a step towards the door, they bust open and two of the security guards that guards the front gates busts in panting heavily.

"A black car took Miss Steele. We couldn't chase them. The police has been informed," they pant.

"Ana…" her name barely passes my lips and my knees go weak. I had to steady myself on the stool. Everything was just a white noise to me. I couldn't even hear myself thinking. The only time I felt like this was the time when Ana left.

No- she can't leave. Wait no. I- I don't need her… _do I?_

Grace is on the phone contacting Ray, Carla and Carrick while she cries. The mac and cheese that sat on the table has never looked unappetizing than right now. I feel my stomach turn, but I try to hold down the bile coming up my throat.

I numbly make my way to the living room where Ray, Carla and Carrick start arriving one by one. Carrick said that it was possible that Ana's kidnapping had a connection with the people threatening him.

An hour later, Carrick's phone ring and they have located Ana and they were chasing the car. Out of nowhere, the wind was knocked out of me and minutes later, Carrick's phone rings again. Something was wrong though. Carrick puts the phone down and turns to Ray and Carla. Carla starts crying. Ray starts tearing up. Grace starts crying. Something was very wrong.

"Son, we have to go to the hospital now." He tells me. I didn't even see him walk towards me.

"W- what happened?" I stutter. I don't think I can take it if he says that Ana is dead.

"The police was chasing the car that had Ana. They ran a red light and the car was hit by truck. It flipped a couple of times and they managed to revive Ana on the scene. Ana is at the hospital getting surgery now." _Managed to revive? She died..._

I sit between Ray and Carla in the backseat of Carrick's car. Every red light we stop on- I felt like screaming at my dad to just keep going or at least speed up.

"Where is the doctor that's responsible for Ana?" Grace screams as soon as we get to the emergency room.

"I'm here. I'm here." A balding man in his forties passes through us.

"I'm coming in with you." Grace insisted.

"Dr. Grey, you can't."

"Do not tell me what to do. That child is like a daughter to me and I will see to it that she gets the best care possible. Let. Me. Through," she hisses. The doctor raises his hand up in defeat and goes through the doors first.

"Ana will be fine." Grace kisses the top of my head and disappears into a set of doors we're not allowed to go into. We've been waiting for three hours and the only people in the waiting area were me, Ray, an old couple and a man. Carrick had to take care of the police reports while Ray insisted Carla to go home.

Another two hours later, Grace comes out crying, covered in blood. Ana's blood. I felt my body go cold.

"She lost a lot of blood and she flat lined so many times…" Grace cries as she hugs Ray. I don't even think I'm breathing anymore. She doesn't mean that she...

"Ana… is she okay? Is my little girl okay?" I stand there watching. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to feel. I couldn't feel anything at all actually.

"She's okay. Ray- Ana is going to be okay. She's still in a very critical condition, but she's more stable now. She's going to survive this." I let out a huge breath I didn't know I was holding and for the first time, I saw Ray Steele cry.

"When can I go see her?" Ray asks.

"As soon as they move her to her room." The doctor comes out and tightly smiles at the other man in the waiting room with us and turns his attention towards Ray.

"I assumed Dr. Grey has filled you in. Your daughter is in safe hands Mr. Steele. Don't you worry." The doctor stretches his hand out to Ray, but surprises the doctor and us when Ray pulls him up for a hug. We wait for another fifteen minutes before the doctor let Ray in Ana's room. I know Ray needs to be alone with Ana first so I head out to buy coffee for Ray and my mom.

When I come back, my mother is crying again. "What's wrong with Ana?" I panic. Grace shakes her head and smiles through her tears.

"She remembers. She remembers everything." _What?_

Ray comes out of Ana's room and pats me on the shoulder. "She got her memories back. She woke up for a minute and said that she remembers everything. I ran out immediately and told your mother the great news" Ray smiles widely.

"Can mom and I see Ana now?"

"I already went to see her, but she's passed out again. Stay here with Ray and call us immediately when something happens."

"Where are you going?" I ask her. I didn't think she'd want to leave Ana's side since she 'regained' her memories.

"We have to go to the police and answer the question they have. The people that tried to kidnap Ana was a convict that your father put away. We have to make sure he never sees the light of day again."

I am now sat beside Ana, holding her hand. Ray left me a few minutes ago to get some necessities for Ana. I don't why I was holding her. I guess I just needed to feel her. Thinking that I would've lost her today… it made me realize that Elena was wrong. I can't let Ana disappear from my life. I may not be able to have her, but I will protect her. I always will.

I lean in to kiss the scar on her hand like I used to years ago. Her hand twitches as soon as my lips touched her skin and her eyes flutter open. "Ana…" I breathe. It felt like all I could say today was Ana's name.

"You scared us for a second there. At least you tried to make the best out of everything," I joke. I regret it as soon as she frowns though.

"What do you mean?" she asks, her voice sounding hoarse. I take the bottle water on the table and put a straw in it so she could drink from it.

"You saying that you regained your memory…?" I remind her. Once again, she frowns and a little v shape forms between her eyebrows. I had to control my muscles to not bend over and kiss that soft spot.

"What are you talking about? I didn't do that," she says once she got a sip of water.

"No- but I did." Ray closes the door behind him. "The Greys have gone through enough, honey." I look at Ray and back at Ana. Wait a second- Ray knew that Ana never lost her memory.

"Why would you do that?!" Ana yells, well- sort of. Her voice was still a little bit weak, but you can't mistake the anger in her voice.

"Christian- can I talk to you outside for a minute?" Ray asks me, ignoring a fuming Ana. I nod and stare at Ana one more time before I follow Ray out the door.

"How did you find out about Ana?" I ask him. I honestly thought that she was hiding it from everyone.

"She told me straight off the bat."

"What?! So you were a part of this?"

"She vaguely explained to me why she was faking her amnesia, but other than that. I don't know anything else. After three years, she knocked on my door and appeared on my doorstep looking like death."

"You don't know who took her? Why they took her?" He could only shake his head.

"I don't know. So, I want you to find out everything that you can. She won't tell me anything. She's still as stubborn as ever."

"Why are you okay with this, Ray? Can't you just force it out of her?" I ask exasperated.

"She said that she couldn't stay if I knew anything else. She said all the people she loved might still be in danger. I can't afford to lose her again. I don't know what danger she's talking about, but all I know is that I have my daughter back and I will do anything for her not leave again."

"Do you think she's being blackmailed?" I ask. This possibility was a constant question in my head.

"I don't know, son. The only thing I know is that Ana went with whoever this person is willingly." Ray disappears back in Ana's room and I could already hear her trying to shout. I decided to give them some privacy and called Grace saying that's I'm going home, but coming back tomorrow.

Of course, Mia tackled me for information as soon as I got home. I told her that Ana was fine now and that she could visit Ana tomorrow too. I plop on my bed, letting my muscles relax. This was such a tense day. From the time I woke up to the time I got home. I hear my phone ring and groan as I accept the call.

"Christian." _Great. Just great._

"Elena." I didn't bother checking the caller I.D. because I thought it was going to be Grace. Elena was the last thing I ever wanted to deal with.

"For the rest of the week, I want you to meet me after school." She hangs up and the line goes dead. For the first time in three years, I didn't want to be with Elena and I'm slowly realizing that I can't continue this thing that she and I have anymore.

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><p><strong>AN: ****So, can I just say how much I love this one guest reviewer.**

"_**This story is fucking disgusting. I feel like vomiting every time I read another chapter."**_

**Dude/ dudette, I love your review. I don't know who you are, but I know you'll see this A/N because you still read my story even if it makes you sick (You know you secretly like my story lolol jk pls don't hurt me). Tang ina. Bahala ka sa buhay mo. Anyway…**

**No- Ana was not a submissive in the duration of her absence. That's an interesting idea though… hmmm. Review or PM me or something… I'll reply- most of the time. If I don't, I'll probs address your questions/ comments in the next chapter. Next chapter is pretty much done. Just gonna wait for violent reactions. I don't even know why I like putting Ana in near death situations. Regarding Elena- I'm gonna slowly get rid of her in the next couple of chapters or so. Btw- I'm not going to be able to update a lot this month because exams. Not all asians were born smart *sighs***

**xoxo JadeV**


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